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Lindsay Lohan Court

Lindsay Lohan Makes Going To Jail Look Like a Ruddy Lark

by Amy Grindhouse on July 21, 2010 1 Comment

Lindsay Lohan, the dangerous and notorious serial chocolate-stealer, is behind bars. Finally.

Oh, what’s that? Lindsay is only in jail because she can’t work her iPhone well enough to set her dates and attend the required number of alcohol education classes. Oh. Isn’t there a ‘Stay Out of Jail, Dumbass‘ App for that? There isn’t? There should be, dammit. How else are celebrities supposed to skate around the law, with grace last seen in Tourville and Dean, and take classes at their leisure rather than do hard time.

Okay, ‘hard time’ isn’t all that hard – usually requiring isolation from non-famous inmates and often serving minutes of their week’s long sentences. But, no matter. Read More >>>

Lindsay Lohan Goes To Court, Possibly Just Because She’s Lindsay Lohan

by Stuart Heritage on October 16, 2009 2 Comments

Lindsay Lohan, Lindsay Lohan Court, Lindsay Lohan DUIThese are testing times for Lindsay Lohan. Her acting career is kaput. Her fashion career was stillborn.

She looks about 50. So Lindsay Lohan has little choice but to turn to the thing she’s best at – breaking the law. Lindsay Lohan has been ordered to court today, reportedly because she’s violated the terms of her alcohol education order. There’s a chance she’ll even wind up in jail, too.

It’s just Lindsay Lohan’s rotten luck, isn’t it? A few months ago she’d have jumped at the chance to spend a few months trapped in a room with a bunch of mannish criminals. Oh casual lesbianism, why must you be so faddish?

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