Ali Lohan’s Breasts Subject of Unsettling Media Attention, Lindsay Not Impressed
Another day, another pile of near-paedophillic crap comes spewing our way - it's Ali Lohan's turn again today. There seems to be an endless stream of reports flowing out in recent months, all concerning subjects that are - not that we place ourselves as moral crusaders, but - inappropriate for the young girls they are talking about.
We've had the three thousand stories about 15-year-old
Miley Cyrus and her penchant for getting nude and making everyone feel a bit ill, and now it's time for
Lindsay Lohan's sister, Ali, to take the brunt of the press' speculation about whether or not she's had surgical enhancements.
Oh, did we mention she's a 14-year-old girl who is barely in the public eye? The same 14-year-old girl who caused a frenzy by auditioning for [a man who used to direct] porn, in a film that was [not] porn?
Yes, she's
that one.
Ali Lohan Destroys the Internet by Accident, Using the Power of Porn
Why we're surprised by this, we simply do not know. It isn't like things on the internet, or in the news media in general are reported in a straightforward, to the point and down the line fashion now, is it? So it shouldn't be surprising to see that a story circulating about
Ali Lohan - Lindsay's sister - has brought the internets to near meltdown.
And why? Because there's porn involved.
Hazzah For The Recently Discovered Possible Lohan Love-Child!
Mark our words - there shall be a time when the kingdom of Lohan falls.
All the glory and might that now rests in their name shall be replaced with nought but dust and broken walls. What once was mighty shall be brought down
There will be no more delightful Disney movies starring a girl with an awful lot of lesbian curiosity, there will be no more second-rate reality shows starring a mother with an awful lot of child-acting curiosity - and perhaps worst of all, a lot less to blog about.
All will be a memory.
But fear not - for there is one who could save us! It's another Lohan - a secret Lohan - conceived one night when a horny and separated
Michael Lohan claims to have boned some old lady out of her head, but not in those words. Now this woman claims a child as a byproduct - and he thinks she might be telling the truth.
Lindsay Lohan Wants A Kylie And Rihanna Musical Orgy!
Lindsay Lohan wants to merge the musical styles of Kylie and Rihanna for her upcoming album.
Lindsay Lohan is determined to pursue her music career, according to The Daily Telegraph (of Australia), with Kylie's and Rihanna's back catalogue the inspiration behind her new record. Lohan said:
"I want it to be dance. I want it to be kind of Kylie Minogue meets Rihanna. I hope to tour with it and I hope to really promote it. I've already done three songs. I'm doing my third in New York, actually."