Lil Wayne Jail - HecklerSpray

Lil Wayne Out Of Jail, Larger Waynes Apparently Delighted

November 5th, 2010 By Stuart Heritage

Lil Wayne has always been the problem Wayne. Big Wayne, for instance, always made a point to keep his head down.

And Medium-Sized Wayne? Why, butter wouldn’t melt in Medium-Sized Wayne’s mouth. But Lil Wayne has always been trouble. That’s why he’s just spent the last eight months in jail for spacking about illegally with an automatic gun. But those days are over – yesterday Lil Wayne was released from jail, and as a result he’s got plenty of lost time to make up for.

What’s on the cards for newly-free Lil Wayne? Well, according to reports, he’s planning a great big Welcome Home party for himself in Miami. That sounds delightful. Lil Wayne will show those other rappers what a real party is. Happy Meals and fairy cakes all round!

Lil Wayne Finally Gets That Prison Sentence He Wanted

March 9th, 2010 By Stuart Heritage

That’s the last we’ll see of Lil Wayne for a while. He’ll be spending the next year having the time of his life.

Admittedly he’ll be in jail. But if Lil Wayne has any sense, he’ll use this year as a chance to refocus his priorities – he could maybe take up painting, or study meditation, or learn to love being stabbed in the thigh by an institutionalised lunatic whenever the warden isn’t around. Stuff like that.

But that’s all up to Lil Wayne. After two false starts, he was finally sentenced to a year in jail for attempted possession of a weapon yesterday. That said, he could be out in eight months for good behaviour. Fingers crossed that happens, because we really don’t want to wait another year for the Lil Wayne Christmas album.

Lil Wayne’s Sore Teeth Keep Him Out Of Jail – For Now

February 10th, 2010 By Stuart Heritage

Lil Wayne was supposed to be in jail today, experiencing all of the joys that a detention facility has to offer.

Like the food. And the witty repartee. And the shanking. And the bumming. And the wishing that he’d decided to call himself Big Wayne or Angry Wayne or Wayne Who Will Definitely Beat You In A Fight or anything other than Lil Wayne. But all of that excitement will just have to wait.

Because Lil Wayne isn’t in jail today. Yesterday Lil Wayne learnt that his sentencing would be postponed until next month so that he could get some important oral surgery done. Which seems a little excessive – surely it isn’t anything that can’t be fixed by a burly cellmate with a razorblade wedged into a toothbrush and a snookerball in a sock.

Lil Wayne To Probably Spend A Year In Jail

October 23rd, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

2010 is going to be a big year for Lil Wayne – it’ll be when he learns to make knives out of toothbrushes.

Or something. Lil Wayne’s probably going to jail. That was our point. Yesterday Lil Wayne pleaded guilty to felony gun possession, and as a result he’s expected to receive a one-year jail sentence.

It’s sad, but it’s important to focus on the positive in times like these – maybe this experience will allow Lil Wayne to progress as an artist. Sure, he’ll enter jail as Lil Wayne – but he’ll leave it as Wayne With The Cold Dead Eyes Of A Man Who’s Seen Too Much. See? It’s not so bad.