Lil Wayne - HecklerSpray

Paris Hilton’s New Single Is Every Bit As God-Awful As You Thought

October 8th, 2013 By Rhiannon Davies

Paris Hilton: She’s a jack of all trades and master of none. Not that it matters when you have her bank account.?

Her new single ‘Good Time’ has been highly anticipated by literally no one but cynical bloggers, and boy, were we pleasantly surprised. Hilton gives a downright moving ?performance, displaying a rawness and vulnerability that her debut effort lacked, as well as showing off her impressive vocal range and songwriting skills.

Just kidding. It’s a heavily synthesized, over-autotuned hot mess and we would never want it any other way. It’s literally the musical equivalent of Paris herself.

Just A Nice Apology, Weezy, and All Will Be Forgiven: Lil’ Wayne Infuriates U.S. Patriots By Stomping on a U.S. Flag In A New Music Video

June 19th, 2013 By Chris Chambers

Oh yes, he did.?Lil’ Wayne?stomped repeatedly on an American flag. But before you get all judgy about it, you should know that he meant no disrespect. He didn’t mean to “desecrate the flag of the United States of America” …?he was simply?filming a new music video. And sometimes … in the pursuit of true art … treasonous shit happens.

Earlier today, some unfortunate video footage popped up on the Internet showing Wayne shooting the video for the song “God Bless Amerika” from his newest album.?The video shows Weezy performing outdoors in front of a huge American?flag, which drops down to show a crowd of people. (It’s symbolism, y’all … those people hanging out behind the flag are Amerika, with a K.)

The problem is that after the flag drops to the ground, Wayne?stomps around?on top of it.

Paris Hilton Is Still Trying Not to Suck At Making Music

May 23rd, 2013 By Rhiannon Davies

Remember way back when Paris Hilton was still relevant? Well, we must have all somehow been transported back to 2006, because she’s started dropping hints about her new album.

Lil Wayne’s mentor Birdman announced on Twitter that he’s signed the heiress to his label, Cash Money Records, which is also home to Drake, Nicki Minaj, Tyga and Busta Rhymes. Have fun imagining a conversation between Paris Hilton and Nicki Minaj, for a second. There’s a pretty good chance it would end in Nicki rugby-tackling Paris to the ground and taking her hair extensions as a trophy.

6 Least Mind-Numbing Moments from the Billboard Awards

May 21st, 2013 By Chris Chambers

Last night’s Billboard Awards Show was?pretty tedious … but, if you stuck with it,?there were a few good moments here and there. Justin Bieber was booed by the audience and didn’t even cry. Nicki Minaj and her giant ass gave Lil’ Wayne a lap dance.?Miguel literally cold-cocked a fan. The dude from A-Ha joined Pitbull and Christina Aguilera on-stage, and he hit that high note in “Take On Me”?(lip synced it, actually, but whatever). And Prince proved that he still rules the school.

The actual awards themselves were predictable, with Taylor Swift winning pretty much everything.?The only one she didn’t snag was the Millenium Award, which went instead to everyone’s favorite?bratty little turd,?Justin Bieber.

Lil? Wayne is a Big Ol? Sack of Shit

February 21st, 2013 By Chris Chambers

Always a class act, Lil Wayne recently kicked his special brand of vulgarity up a notch,?announcing on-stage at a high-profile,?star-studded concert?that he nailed the wife of a professional basketball player (yes, he gave the name) and getting?the crowd to join him in bashing that player’s team and the NBA overall.

Basically, poor ol’ Wayne felt disrespected by events that occurred at an NBA game last week (events resulting from his own infantile behavior)?and chose to vent his rage publicly at an All Star Weekend concert that he was?hosting. He began his tirade by announcing that the Miami Heat had him banned from future NBA events (not true)?and then?riling up the crowd.

Even Lil Wayne Cannot Save Paris Hilton From Being Completely Obsolete

November 21st, 2012 By Chris Chambers

A music video starring?talentless socialite Paris Hilton and featuring scary rapper Lil Wayne was leaked online yesterday, confirming suspicions that Paris Hilton is absolutely awful in every way. The song, tastefully titled “Last Night (I Wanna Bang You),” is worth listening to, though not for Paris’?vocals, which, despite being heavily altered, are atrocious.

What makes the song worthwhile are Wayne’s audacious raps. While a heavily digitally-enhanced Paris repeats clever lines like “I can’t believe what we did last night,” Wayne not only?makes a blatant allusion to Paris’ infamous sex tape … (“Excuse my french, but fuck the cameras / I wanna spend a night in Paris“) … shamelessly plug his?clothing line … (“Whatever, I can love you better / Bust it wide open for a Trukfit sweater“), but?he also manages to work in a few sincerely romantic lines (“Last night was awesome / Super fucking awesome / It was me, myself, and I, and her / We had ourselves a foursome.“)

Lil Wayne To Write About His Time In Prison: Soap Still Not Picked Up In Showers

January 13th, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

Rap troll, Lil Wayne is going to release his prison diaries, just in time for next Christmas. That’ll be a nice present for your nana won’t it? In it, he’ll probably talk to God a lot while simultaneously glamorising his pretend ‘thug’ lifestyle.

But will he be mentioning the poundings he took around the anus while in the prison showers? We do hope so, because that would be refreshingly charming!

The book will be titled ‘Gone Till November’ and will be based around the diaries he kept while in the clink. This puts Wayne in the same company as Nelson Mandela and… uh… Jeffrey Archer.

Lil Wayne Makes Every Human On Earth Consider Suicide After Going On Twitter Strike

March 29th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Rastafarian action figure, with melted face, Lil Wayne, has rocked the Earth to the molten core by revealing that he won’t be enlightening us all via social networking anymore. That’s right – he’s going on strike from Twitter! How will we cope with this news? SOMEONE SET UP A HELPLINE, STAT!

hecklerspray won’t be able to function properly now, walking around in a daze and grabbing people by their collars and wailing loudly “Adidas sweats,shiny ass Adidas! Remember when Weezy wrote that?! Do you?! Those were salad days! Remember that time he just wrote “um yeah”? Do you? We won’t be getting that now. It is just too sad to comprehend”.

We’ll then do that funny crab dance he’s fond of, complete with solemnly bowed head.

Lil Wayne Out Of Jail, Larger Waynes Apparently Delighted

November 5th, 2010 By Stuart Heritage

Lil Wayne has always been the problem Wayne. Big Wayne, for instance, always made a point to keep his head down.

And Medium-Sized Wayne? Why, butter wouldn’t melt in Medium-Sized Wayne’s mouth. But Lil Wayne has always been trouble. That’s why he’s just spent the last eight months in jail for spacking about illegally with an automatic gun. But those days are over – yesterday Lil Wayne was released from jail, and as a result he’s got plenty of lost time to make up for.

What’s on the cards for newly-free Lil Wayne? Well, according to reports, he’s planning a great big Welcome Home party for himself in Miami. That sounds delightful. Lil Wayne will show those other rappers what a real party is. Happy Meals and fairy cakes all round!

Lil Wayne Finally Gets That Prison Sentence He Wanted

March 9th, 2010 By Stuart Heritage

That’s the last we’ll see of Lil Wayne for a while. He’ll be spending the next year having the time of his life.

Admittedly he’ll be in jail. But if Lil Wayne has any sense, he’ll use this year as a chance to refocus his priorities – he could maybe take up painting, or study meditation, or learn to love being stabbed in the thigh by an institutionalised lunatic whenever the warden isn’t around. Stuff like that.

But that’s all up to Lil Wayne. After two false starts, he was finally sentenced to a year in jail for attempted possession of a weapon yesterday. That said, he could be out in eight months for good behaviour. Fingers crossed that happens, because we really don’t want to wait another year for the Lil Wayne Christmas album.