Lights - HecklerSpray

Awesome or Off-Putting: America’s First USO (Unidentified Submerged Object)

August 1st, 2011 By Shawn Lindseth

Awesome or Off-Putting is a weekly delve into cryptozoology, ufology, aliens, medical marvels, scientific wonders, secret societies, government conspiracies, cults, ghosts, EVPs, ancient artifacts, strange facts, odd sightings or just the plain unexplainable.

You may think that UFO’s are a new phenomenon. You may also think that snakes make good pets and vegetables without ranch dressing are delicious. Well you are wrong across the board – especially about the snakes. Anything that may crush you and then swallow you whole doesn’t belong in an aquarium.

But the topic of the day is, of course, North America’s first sighting of an Unidentified Submerged Object. Granted, the object didn’t stay submerged. It broke the water’s surface and flew around in front of lots of people many times over a three week period, but the only explanation given at the time was necromancy.

Just you chew on that for a minute.

Awesome or Off-Putting: The Allagash Four

March 21st, 2010 By Shawn Lindseth

The worst thing hecklerspray’s ever seen on a canoe trip was several used tampons grossly incorporated into a beaver damn. In fact, due to the mathematical ratio, one could actually say sticks seemed to be the thing incorporated in to the tampon damn.? It really was sick – and the tide was soooo low.

That experience, however, pales in comparison the that of the Allagash Four. Their canoe trip included paddling like the dickens to avoid getting sucked up by a UFO.

They should have paddled faster.

Paul Danan Sacked From Panto For Being A Sweary Tit

March 31st, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

Christmas is coming – you can tell by that distinct chill in the air, the look of barely-contained glee on the faces of children and the sight of a red-faced, bulge-eyed former Hollyoaks actor hurling swearwords at a cluster of young families.

That former Hollyoaks actor, as if it could be anyone else, was our old friend Paul Danan – who up to six of you may remember from also being on Celebrity Love Island a couple of years ago. Paul Danan was all set to play Jack in the local panto production of Jack And The Beanstalk at Preston's Charter Theatre this year, but now he's not. What could Paul Danan have done to lose such a searingly high-profile acting role? Why, screaming "Come on, make some motherfucking noise!" at the disparate gaggle of bewildered children and pensioners who'd come to see Danan switch on Preston's Christmas lights, of course.