Admittedly Mary J Blige said that Jay-Z and Beyonce were married, plus they both applied for a marriage license right before the alleged wedding, plus the woman who did the flowers for the wedding said that Jay-Z and Beyonce were married and they’ve both been seen wearing giant wedding rings, but nobody can really say for sure if they’re actually married or not.

And, yes, admittedly Jay-Z and Beyonce have also just filed their marriage license and a town clerk has confirmed that they are definitely married, but look inside your heart, people. Is it telling you that Jay-Z and Beyonce are really married? It is? It is? Oh, well in that case they probably are married, then. Carry on.

There’s nothing like a good old mystery to get the public’s juices going, even if it’s a rubbish mystery about whether or not two people who live together have signed a bit of paper that says they’re very slightly more of a couple than they were before because God says they are. And that’s exactly what we had with Jay-Z and Beyonce, bless ‘em.

Although they’ve been a couple for several years and can’t seem to go more than three or four seconds without appearing on the other one’s songs, there’s been a constant fascination with Jay-Z and Beyonce’s marital status. Most wedding reports turned out to be fake, but then last month Jay-Z and Beyonce took out a marriage license in New York. Did this mean that Jay-Z and Beyonce were really getting married? Nobody knew.

OK, that’s a lie. Everybody knew. Everybody knew because Mary J Blige confirmed it onstage during a concert and then the wedding florist wouldn’t shut up about it either. Plus Beyonce’s wedding ring is the size of a baby’s skull. Plus, you know, everybody knew. Just because Jay-Z and Beyonce didn’t confirmed it doesn’t mean that it was as obvious as the warts on your mother’s face.

And now it’s just got obviouser, because the marriage license has been filed and the woman who does the filing is all like blah blah blah, as E! Online reports:

While the newlyweds have yet to confirm or deny—or make any comment whatsoever on—their marital status, E! News has confirmed the superstar duo quietly filed their signed wedding license in Scarsdale, N.Y., Friday afternoon. “Yes, we did receive it back,” Scarsdale Town Clerk Donna Conkling said. “We do have public information on our marriage applicants, and that’s one of the things we can confirm.” The license, which arrived at Scarsdale Town Hall in the mail, confirms what we reported on the happy day: namely, that Shawn Carter made Beyoncé Knowles his missus.

So the mystery has been well and truly solved – Jay-Z and Beyonce are totally married. Does this mean that we can all hang up our deerstalkers and magnifying glasses now? Of course not – the celebrity world is always full of mysteries that need to be solved. Next mystery on the list: What’s up with Katie Holmes‘ hair? It’s all, like, totally retarded and shit.

Read more:

Beyonc̩ & Jay-Z: Licensed and Wed РE! Online