HecklerSpray

Grown Up Gossip & Internet Villainy

HecklerSpray Advent Day 12: Big Year For the Guys of One Direction

December 12th, 2017 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

When I heard that One Direction was splitting up so they could all work on their solo projects, all I could think was “lol k, because we all know how well that went for every guy from a boy band other than Justin Timberlake.” But those handsome bastards ALL proved me wrong!

In 2017, you could not turn on pop radio without hearing one of the guys from One Direction and they ALL had hits! I reeeealllly just thought it was going to be Zayn Malik because he left the group first, but boy was I wrong!

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One Direction Fans Are Part Of Sinister ‘1D-4TW’ Project

March 9th, 2012 By Michael Park

One of the celebrity’s greatest fears is the cunning, cold-hearted assassin. Those who kill for money or for a cause. They kill without remorse and without feeling, leaving the families and friends of their victims devastated. The mark of a great assassin is their ability to kill without getting caught.

So what if we told you that there was a group of people out there, numbering in the thousands who are poised and waiting with their fingers on triggers and their breath held. Waiting for the shot. We’re not talking about Mossad or the CIA here; we’re talking One Direction fans.

With the adolescent purveyors of pop currently ‘cracking’ America, their fans are on the look out for high value targets.

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Caroline Flack Determined To Have Most Awful Sexual History Ever (Really? Olly Murs?)

December 12th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Xtra Factor, X FactorDeath-threats have dogged Caroline Flack since everyone found out she’s allegedly been shagging Harry Styles from One Direction. Fans are furious and the rest of the world is doing small vomits in their mouths.

That’s because Harry Styles is a veritable child. He’s 17 and she’s 408 years old.

Of course, the Xtra Factor host isn’t phased by all the wrung hands, furrowed brows and deafening dry-heaves. That’s because she’s apparently already had sex with Olly Murs, which is worse than enjoying intercourse with Robert Mugabe and Genghis Khan’s corpse.

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Caroline Flack Doesn’t Think Having Sex With One Direction Teenagers Is Disgusting At All

December 6th, 2011 By Joanna Bolouri

Xtra Factor host Caroline Flack has finally broken her silence over bouncy haired One Direction singer Harry Styles, in an attempt to end minutes of speculation over whether she was lustfully gnawing on his teenage bones like a dirty puma.

After receiving death threats from hormonally unbalanced One Direction fans on Twitter warning her to steer clear of Styles, Flack decided to come clean about the whole thing and make them even angrier.

Apparently people get angry about grown women dating teenagers or something.

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Caroline Flack Gets Death Threats From Clearly Insane One Direction Fans

November 18th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Uh-oh! Caroline Flack is getting received death threats from Harry Styles’ fans after it was revealed that the pair have been on some dates. What is it with young women and their penchant for sending death threats?

WHY HAVEN’T WE HAD ANY? DO WE HAVE TO HAVE SEX WITH A YOUNG MAN TO DO SO?

On that point, it appears hecklerspray is the only publication willing to point out that it is incredibly sinister the way adult women feel it is perfectly fine for them to fap over a bunch of 10 year old singing boys. Never mind death threats, how about some police involvement here?!

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One Direction Want To Date Their Fans But Probably Not You

November 14th, 2011 By Michael Park

Remember One Direction from last year’s X Factor? Those fresh-faced lads that got all the way to the final by being cheeky, having a lark and bonking Rebecca Ferguson? Yeah, the ones that are a bit like The Risk. How quickly you forget.

They’re looking forward to releasing their new album but, being teenage boys who are still worried about spots, booze and getting their ends away, most of their interviews are turning to dating.

Yes, it turns out that the lads wouldn’t mind dating one of their loyal, insane fanbase.

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Canon Probably Want To Open Fire On All One Direction Fans

October 19th, 2011 By Kris Silver

One Direction fans really are something to behold, they can almost out crazy the cult of Beliebers in terms of random Twitter outbursts about anything and everything their icons do.

OMG! HARRY IS PICKING HIS NOSE! I TOTES LOVE HIM!

That’s the sort of thing you can usually expect from them. But now they’ve hit a new low and actually managed to ruin the launch of a brand new top of the range DSLR camera from imaging giants, Canon.

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