Levi Johnston is the master of the art of trolling. It appears his sole aim in life is to annoy supreme pencil neck, Sarah Palin, ’til she reaches the point of explosion. Of course, when she finally KABOOMS, the sky will be thick with impotent rage and garbled words spelled out like the sky has been attacked by a dyslexic skywriter.
Better yet, is that Palin can’t really do much about it because Levi is the father to her grandson. He’s always going to be part of the Palin family.
So imagine the next time they awkwardly meet up, when Levi announces that he’s writing a tell-all book about Palin and her mental, trigger happy family!
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Looking at Sarah Palin, it is hard to imagine a more terrifying political human. Her staggering simplery along with gasping vapidity is far too close to the nuclear codes for our liking. You’d be forgiven for thinking that things could only get worse if Glen Beck announced his intention to run for office.
Until that crushingly inevitable day occurs, we can look forward to another horror.
That’s right citizens of this failing planet! Bristol Palin fully intends to follow in her mother’s waddling political footsteps. This is the signal we’ve all been waiting for. The end is nigh. Kill yourselves now.
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Over the past ten years or so, the world has been flooded with countless pointless memoirs and autobiographies. You’ll be able to read Justin Bieber’s soon, which will no doubt say “I was born three seconds ago and I sang some songs and can’t work out how to undo Selena Gomez’s bra, The End.’
And now, we’re due another utterly pointless document in the shape of a memoir from Bristol Palin. She’s hardly known for being a raconteur is she?
This isn’t plain ol’ hearsay either. Bristol’s memoir is already showing up on Amazon.com. We are, presumably, supposed to be thrilled at the prospect of reading about someone with a simpleton mother, teenage pregnancy and how hard it is wobbling around like a giraffe on a see-saw on ‘Dancing With the Stars’.
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The Palin family are just great aren’t they? In Sarah Palin, we have a woman who doesn’t know a single thing about the world outside of Alaska (she probably thinks Mary Poppins is a gritty documentary about England) and in Bristol, we’ve got a gal who has the cold, dead stare of someone who has witnessed the unspeakable.
Of course, she used to date the most hilarious man in America – Levi Johnston – a man made entirely of satire. He got her pregnant, then promptly went about slagging off anyone with the surname Palin. That probably includes Michael Palin.
Anyway, after being rubbish at dancing on television, Bristol has been looking for love or something. And apparently, she’s found it in the most likely of places – The Alaskan pipeline!
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If Sarah Palin wasn’t a politician, she’d be hilarious. Think about it. She’s a gun-toting, slackjawed moose-for-brains who garbles her words and thinks that it is totally okay to use gun-targets in association with her political rivals.
Had she been the invention of a satirist, you’d laugh like a drain at each dunderheaded move she made.
Sadly, she’s horribly real and has gone about invigorating the kind of American that makes the rest of the world wince with discomfort. And no-one has ever seen her blink, even when she said that outrageous ‘death panel’ comment.
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Look into Sarah Palin’s eyes. What do you see? Your own reflection probably, because she wears glasses. However, hoik those specs clean off her head and you’ll see a faint glimpse of life in those cold, dead eyes.
That’s because Palin is a cold-blooded killer. Now, we’re not suggesting that Palin went postal over the weekend, opening fire on a mall full of people, but rather, she likes killing animals despite the fact she has enough money in the bank to, y’know, buy food from a shop.
Alas, Sarah Palin wants to win the hearts and minds of Americans by showcasing her feral side, which could well mean that we’ll see her dragging herself along some grass on her posterior or marking her territory by pissing on as many trees as possible. Read More >>>
There’s been mutterings over the pond that Dancing With The Stars has been a bit skewed this year. Why? Well, Bristol ‘My Mom Is Sarah Palin And I Have A Hilarious Ex Boyfriend’ Palin found herself in the final three, despite having the dancing prowess of a kitchen work surface.
It seems that the Tea Baggers (really, someone should tell those narrow-minded chumps the alternative meaning for that) have been voting in droves to perhaps soften the image of the gobbledegook nattering, gun wielding simpleton, Sarah Palin, who is probably going to be the next US president.
However, there is room for hope. That’s because, despite the efforts of the slackjawed xenophobes, Bristol Palin didn’t win Dancing With The Stars. Jennifer Grey and Derek Hough did. You probably don’t recognise her from Dirty Dancing because she looks like a completely different human. Read More >>>
Left wing media this. Right wing media that. hecklerspray knows a dick when it sees one and Sarah Palin is up there with the best of them. That’s not because we’re liberal tarts or what have you, but rather, like mercilessly taking the piss out of thick people… and the Republican Party over in America is an absolute godsend in that respect.
As such, it was hilarious to see Sarah Palin getting her face booed at on Dancing With The Stars. She definitely did. Biased commentators will have you believe that the boos were directed elsewhere, but it’s as plain as the genitals between your legs that they were a little gift for one of America’s most dimwitted humans.
A woman who probably had kittens when she discovered that she could open a new tab when looking for stuff to blame the imagined erosion of American values online. Read More >>>
