Britney Spears has all the luck. Not only is she rich and in possession of all her marbles, but now a stranger keeps sending her parcels full of dildos too, the lucky cow.

It's been reported that Britney Spears has somehow managed to pick herself up a stalker. Not just any stalker either, but one who keeps sending her packages of sex toys, threatening porno letters and mutilated pictures of himself squirting an unidentified yellow liquid into his mouth.

The details of Britney Spears' alleged stalker have now been passed on to the FBI, which seems like an odd thing to do. After all, he sounds like a better catch than Kevin Federline.

When we were walking back from the pub one evening, a man suddenly jumped out in front of us and gave us a warning. “Be careful of your actions, for they will mould the rest of your life”. "Umm, OK" we thought as the trampy looking bloke ran in to the night.

However, we hold our hands up now and admit this incident has come true. We all know about Princess Diana. She was the people’s princess, the princess of hearts. Despite being dead for over ten years now, she is still making the news. Just think of her as the equivalent of Tupac. But still, Mohamed Al Fayed claims the Duke of Edinburgh was behind a plot to murder Diana and his son Dodi before they got married. But some just-unearthed letters say he might not have been, actually. It’s almost like some sort of bad film script.