Here we are again, filling the gap between Christmas and next year with our favourite stuff from the year gone by.

Now we know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking “But hecklerspray, this is 2009 so why aren’t you doing a list of the best stuff that’s happened this decade?” And the answer to that is this: We forgot it was the end of the decade. Alright? We forgot. AND NOW IT’S TOO LATE.

Anyway, let’s fill this poxy post Christmas wilderness with the best films of the year, as picked by our ragtag bunch of young adventurers. Let us know if you disagree…

Stuart Heritage

Bit torn over this one, really – for me there’s not much between Up and In The Loop. So do I choose Up – which is lovely and sad and funny and in 3D – or In The Loop because a Scottish man says “Fuckity-bye” in it? Screw it, I’m going with Up. Particularly the first few minutes of Up, which are impressively devastating. That said, I do get the feeling that if Pixar continue down this road much longer, they’re going to make a film depressing enough to inspire mass suicides every time it’s shown. Not sure that’s such a great thing, really.

Shawn Lindseth

The best movie of 2009 should have been the one we made starring our neighbor Phil as a two armed, giant tarantula who’d acquired the taste for the feet of all women who have silicone breast implants. That makes a lot more sense in the context of the script.  No movie studios agreed, probably because they’re all retarded.

As such, the only film worth two shakes in the year of our Lord, 2009, was the  new Star Trek. It really was good though.

Matthew Laidlow

Even though it was given a verbal shitting by critics at the cinema, I still love 12 Rounds. Come on! You know 12 Rounds. The one with John Cena in. The wrestler John Cena? It’s an age-old and basic plot. Stupid bumbling cop John Cena stops a master criminal in his tracks and accidentally kills his girlfriend. Of course, this doesn’t make the naughty man happy and seeks revenge in prison when he’s not getting bum love off another inmate.

So for an hour and a bit, there are 12 rounds (get it) of challenges for poor John Cena to go through. Buy why is this? Well our villain is so cheesed off that he’s only gone and kidnapped Cena’s girlfriend. All in a crap attempt to gain revenge and do something on a grander scale. I won’t spoil it, but the ending had me in fits of laughter.

Josh Burt

When I say I love The Hangover – which I’m going to do in about two/three sentences time – I don’t mean I love it at all. What I mean is that I quite like that three minute segment near the beginning when they’re on the roof and Zach Galifianakis reads a small pre-prepared speech about being a lone wolf. That bit made me laugh. I fucking love The Hangover.

Chris Laverty

For someone who reviews films on a regular basis, picking the best often means picking the most flat out enjoyable; not necessarily the sharpest written, acted, directed or produced, just the one that put the widest smile on your face; the one that didn’t leave you sick with disappointment or bored to tears and desperate for a leak; the one that wasn’t Transformers 2. Having laughed harder than a drunken clown and spent 90 minutes scrawling quotable lines in my notebook instead of review notes, I would have to say that film was The Hangover.

Amy Grindhouse

Some of the films this year were really dire. They felt like over-long, over-produced, glorified music videos. The Michael Bay-type, with a trendy soundtrack and more explosions and boobs than dialogue. My favourite film of the year is one that had the balls to not contain any explosions. My head nearly exploded when I watched it, but that’s another matter entirely. Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire is my favourite film by a mile, because it contains snazzy things like plot, emotion, and decent acting. All controversial and all bloody good.

Paul Gibson

The Hangover. Much-hyped, devilishly naughty comedy that had me forgetting my English genes and folding up with laughter in an American ‘movie theater’. Excellent ensemble cast (I think that’s the correct film review cliche), including Ed Helms and Zach Galifianakis go to work on a beautifully-written script (“Hey, this is Phil. Leave me a message, or don’t, but do me a favor: don’t text me, it’s gay”). Plus, it made us see Mike Tyson as a human being again, rather than the monstrous half android/half bicep that has chased us through a decade of bad dreams.

Keith Emmerson

There were already rumours of an American remake of Let The Right One In when I saw a preview screening of this film, which is often incorrectly shoehorned into the vampire horror category. Perhaps those folks in Hollywood didn’t think the world at large had the (very limited) intellect required to enjoy a subtitled film, who knows. The vampiric element of this Swedish classic is probably the least important. It is a story about loneliness, growing up, companionship, bullying, and maybe even the futility of relationships; all se upon a desolate yet beautiful backdrop.

Louise Scodie

You’d have to be a hard-hearted puppyfucker not to be moved by Up. It’s my nomination for film of the year, film of the decade, and best film ever released in an October. Up is wonderful, and even more magical when viewed in 3D. The first fifteen minutes are a masterclass in storytelling and cinematography, seamlessly combining a love story with the harsh truth of the human condition (merry Christmas!). I also enjoyed He’s Just Not That Into You and plan to make a semi*cough*autobiographical sequel myself entitled He’s Just Not That Into You (Unless He’s Totally, Totally Mental).

David Scarborough

The funniest film of the year and it happens to be British – In The Loop. A satirical look at the British government that would be frightening if it wasn’t so darn hilarious! In a year when the startlingly average Slumdog Millionaire gets all the attention, this film got criminally overlooked.

Robyn Wilder

My favourite release of this year is Star Trek – so fresh! So original! No tedious Jean-Luc Picard French wine peasant backstory; no saggy Data; no bloody RIKER LOVE SCENES. This was prequel was so whizz-bang and personality-heavy that I forgot to wince whenever Sylar Spock’s waxed eyebrows filled the screen.

In fact they’re such jokers that they even made a gag reel:

However, so did the cast and crew of Star Trek: The Next Generation, and it fills me with FEAR:

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Why do we love vampire movies so much?

Vampires are essentially pale, scary-looking monsters who dress in black and drain the life-force out of anyone who crosses their path. Maybe Hollywood should make a movie about emo lawyers or tax inspectors. Should go down a scream at the box office.

Anyway, the point is we love vampires. Can’t get enough of them.

They can be sexy (Queen of the Damned, Twilight, From Dusk Till Dawn), funny (Lost Boys, Fearless Vampire Killers), scary (Nosferatu) and, of course, plain ridiculous (that’ll be Twilight again, Blacula, Jesus Christ: Vampire Hunter).

But which vampire film has the most bite? Well, taking into account that Twilight 2 has got teenage girls all around the world frothing at the mouth, we have decided to come up with some real vampire movies worth seeing.

Enjoy!

26. The Night Stalker (1972)

Otherwise known as a ‘Vampire in Vegas’. Yes, Vegas. It’s good, honest.

25. Blood for Dracula (1974)

Dracula finds out it can be a real bitch trying to locate a virgin in Italy.

24. The Hunger (1983)

OK, so old vinegar tits Susan Sarandon is in it, but vampires and sex is a winning combination.

23. Dracula (1931)

A classic.

22. Bram Stoker’s Dracula (1992)

Film is good enough for you to forget about how appalling Keanu Reeves is in it. Just about.

21. Vampyros Lesbos (1971)

Yet more lesbians and vampires – genius.

20. Blacula (1972)

The best film about an African prince who is turned into a vampire after being cursed by Dracula….ever.

19. The Fearless Vampire Killers (1967)

Not exactly Roman Polanski‘s finest work, but entertaining nonetheless.

18. Mr Vampire (1985)

A Chinese horror movie that is simply brilliant fun. If you have never seen it, get it out now.

17. Nosferatu the Vampyre (1979)

A modern reworking of a classic that surprisingly does not suck.

16. Salem’s Lot (1979)

Creepy as hell film which made you think twice about opening your window to your floating, dead brother.

15. Underworld (2003)

A leather-clad Kate Beckinsale soon makes you forget about the ridiculous plot and script.

14. Cronos (1993)

Guillermo Del Toro shows his class.

13. Black Sunday (1960)

We hate Sundays too. So boring.

12. From Dusk Till Dawn (1996)

There are three very good reasons it belongs on this list: Salma Hayek, Salma Hayek and Salma Hayek. Plus it’s a very good excuse to show the clip again.

11. Horror of Dracula (1958)

Christopher Lee‘s finest performance as Dracula.

10. Day Watch (2006)

Slightly superior second chapter of Russian director Timur Bekmambetov‘s unique tale of the battle between good and evil.

9. Brides of Dracula (1960)

Marriage can be a real bitch.

8. Shadow of the Vampire (2000)

Unmissable film about the making of the 1922 vampire classic Nosferatu. Of course, it turns out the main actor in it is actually a vampire. The last time that happened in real life was when Reese Witherspoon appeared in Sweet Home Alabama.

7. Interview With The Vampire (1994)

Even Tom Cruise is good.

6. Nosferatu (1922)

A classic film, upon which every single vampire film must be judged.

5. Blade (1998)

The opening scene alone is worthy of a top five place.

4. Martin (1977)

Admittedly, it sounds more like a movie about an accountant, but it is brilliant….honest!

3. The Lost Boys (1987)

Whatever happened to Corey Haim? So many good lines, but our pick is: “You’re a dirty, rotten vampire Mike. Just wait till I tell mom.”

2. Near Dark (1987)

Almost the entire cast of Aliens makes Near Dark a must-see for any horror movie fan. Simply brilliant.

1. Let the Right One In (2008)

Best movie we have seen for at least a year.

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