lesbianism - HecklerSpray

Lindsay Lohan: Still Hanging Around The Morgue

January 16th, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

Lindsay Lohan isn’t as much fun as she used to be. Remember when she was constantly full of drink and drugs, having sex with everyone, stealing jewels and getting accused of assault and battery? Those were good days.

Sadly, she seems to have straightened herself out… BUT WAIT!

See, LiLo has been doing her community service, hauling her speckled self around a morgue! Ostensibly, Judge Stephanie Sautner wants her to fix herself by warping her mind with dead bodies. Get the feeling that we’ll be seeing good ol’ Insane Lohan again in the future?

Paparazzi Photographer To Sue Lindsay Lohan For Running Him Over In A Car She Wasn’t Driving

January 11th, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

Where there’s blame, there’s a claim… right? Well, in the case of paparazzi photographer and presumed harassing scum-ventricle, Grigor Baylan, he’s suing Lindsay Lohan for something she didn’t actually do for once.

Our papping chum is taking legal action against the actress after he found himself being run over? by a motor car that was trying to get away from… you guessed it! The paparazzo.

And the best bit is – LiLo wasn’t even driving the car!

Lindsay Lohan Gets Tattoo That Shows A Lovely Lack Of Self-Awareness

January 10th, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

Lindsay Lohan wants you to know that she's a moron. That's the only possible reason why she emerged from a tattoo parlour this week permanently marked with the phrase: Live Without Regrets.

The ~~starlet~~ drunken car crash is said to have told pals that she's ?at a great point in her life and wanted to do something she’d always remember’.

Who wouldn't want to remember the ~~first second~~ third time they got their vag out for the public? At least this time it was sponsored by Playboy and not 12 Jagerbombs and an hour in the powder rooms

Lindsay Lohan: Leaked Playboy Nudes, Down $10k, And Threatening To F***ing Kill Someone

August 15th, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

Good ol’ Lindsay Lohan. She’s spectacularly hapless isn’t she? You could leave her on an infinitely smooth surface, devoid of any life and, somehow, she’d still end up getting arrested with illegal articles about her person.

She’s a godsend for pondscum like us.

And now, tremendously, she’s threatening to kill people and missing $10,000 from a Chanel purse because, no matter how hard she tries, she simply can’t avoid melodrama and vague trouble. Still, at least we can all gawp at her leaked Playboy nudes, right?

Lindsay Lohan Bares Her Soul In Pink Glittery Pen Over Heath Ledger

December 9th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Everybody knows that, if you want to really, really, really convey gravitas, pink pen is the way to do it. Suicide note? Pink pen. Will? Pink pen. Dear John letter? Pink pen. First draft of Mein Kampf? Pink pen, preferably glittery.

And so, it has been discovered that Lindsay Lohan’s journal is written in the pinkest of pens. That’s because she’s a girl and all girls always write in pink pen, in their pink diaries, in their pink Hello Kitty bedrooms.

So what’s this about gravitas? Well, if you want the world to hear about your love affair with Heath Ledger and his subsequent death? Pink pen.

Have A Look At The Leaked Lindsay Lohan Playboy Cover If You Want

December 8th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

It’s good to be writing trash about Lindsay Lohan again. For a moment, it looked like she was going to start being well-behaved and no-one wants that. Premature death, arrest, drug-use – all those things are fine. Being a goodytwoshoes? Who cares?

And since she got her ankle tag off, she’s been doing a nudie photoshoot for Playboy, which is thrilling for all concerned.

Better yet, is that some scamp has decided to leak the cover which features Lohan and her boobies are there and a red chair and… why don’t you see for yourself over the jump?

Lindsay Lohan Sex Toys Anyone? The ‘LiLdo?’

July 7th, 2017 By Mof Gimmers

When you need money, you need money, right? We’ve all, at some point, turned our mothers in to become prostitutes when we’ve needed money to buy rolling tobacco and cans of Spesh. However, when you’re a celebrity, you simply turn yourself in.

How wonderful that must be.

And Lindsay Lohan, fresh off the back of accepting a large cheque to bare her boobies in Playboy, could well be going into the sex toy industry. Could it be a lifesize Lohan doll you can have your way with? Or will it be a contraption called ‘The Parent Trap’, which is like a Chinese finger trap, for genitals?

You Won’t Notice Lindsay Lohan’s Crack Teeth When She’s Got Her Baps Out In Playboy

October 25th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Boob enthusiasts may want to take note of this article. Y’see, Lindsay Lohan appears to be getting her freckled bangers out in the fresh air while someone photographs them, so we can use them for our own nefarious purposes.

That’s right. Provided she doesn’t end up someone’s prison bitch any time soon, LiLo is doing a nude photoshoot for Playboy.

She’ll be getting nearly a million dollars for it, which means that each of her boobs is worth more than an entire you.

Lindsay Lohan: Corpse Sniffer

October 20th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Lindsay Lohan has, once again, been troubling the media outlets with her presence again. Basically, she’s not being fulfilling her court-order and dodging her community service. At the same time, she’s been spotted with little stumpy teeth.

That’s right. All her pegs are falling out of her mouth and it’s kinda funny.

Even funnier is that she’s probably going to be sent by a judge to a place filled with dead-bodies. Will people be able to tell her apart from the rotting cadavers, leaving her being slammed into one of those refrigerated filing cabinets with a note on her toe? We can only hope.

Miley Cyrus Likes The Gays Way More Than You

August 1st, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Do you like gay people? Perhaps you’re a gay person yourself? Doesn’t matter one jot. That’s because Miley Cyrus likes gay people more than anyone else, ever. How do we know this? Because she’s got a tattoo.

As well you know, young people get tattoos about the things they feel strongly passionate about… the things they will stand-by for life… and boy, Miley means it, maaaaaan.

See, she’s decided to get a tattoo that shows that she supports gay marriage. What have you done? Nothing we bet. Unless you happen to be gay and have got married. Even then, marriages don’t often last as long as tattoos, so even you lose.