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Samuel L Jackson is, once again, going to be teaming up with Quentin Tarantino. It has been confirmed and everything. This is fine, fine news.
Jackson’s publicist has told Variety that the actor has signed up for the film Django Unchained.
What’s Django Unchained? We like to think of it as Slave Japes. We also really hope Arnold Schwarzenegger gets a role in it. Let us explain.
Psychosis, horror and conspiracy are rife in this Martin Scorsese thriller, where U.S. Marshalls Teddy Daniels (Leonardo Di Caprio) and Chuck Aule (Mark Ruffalo) find themselves investigating an escape from an institute for the criminally insane.
Something unnatural is happening in the Massachusetts prison, a literal fortress in the coastal wilderness. The prisoners whisper of spirits and a 67th prisoner, though there are cells for only 66.
Some movie action heroes really don't cut the mustard. They may be able to talk the talk. But when it comes to walking the walk, they are a drunken, one-legged tramp with a bad limp, short arms and an itchy arse.
They are all mouth and no trousers. Or as our sweet old grandma used to say, "they are all fart and no shit." Anyway, you get the idea. They're the action heroes in film that you know in the real world would not stand up to much. In fact, without the CGI and the body double they are nothing.
Now, movies are all about pretend. We understand that. But there are limits, right? There is a point when your imagination stands up and says 'wait a minute'. And here at hecklerspray we feel it is our duty to expose such charlatans. For the good of mankind, of course. Oh, and if any of the following want to question it, we will be waiting outside. Bring it on!
Behold, the Not-So-Magnificent Seven…
