It’s that time of year again, when Leona Lewis emerges from the woodwork to release a series of uninspiring ballads. Lewis, or ‘Ballad in a Ballgown’ as I lovingly call her, is one hell of a singer. The only problem is, she’s boring as sin and therefore not a very good celebrity. If she wants to grab headlines, she’s got to ditch the meaningful ditties and start singing about ‘da club’ over a thumping bassline.
If you are not aware of Leona Lewis, which is entirely possible considering her coyness, introduce her. Lewis entered the UK version of?The X Factor?in 2006, easily making it to the final and beating cheeseball Ray Quinn to become champion. The next year, she released her debut single to massive success. ‘Bleeding Love’, which I still maintain is about menstruation, topped the chart in both the US and the UK. Her album, Spirit achieved similar success; which no doubt made Leona smile, rather than celebrate by taking a lot of intravenous drugs.