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Lee Ryan

Lee Ryan Goes Mental In A Club, World Moves Swiftly On

by Matthew Laidlow

Reputations aren’t tags you’re simply given. Oh no – after years of hard work, there is a possibility that someone will attach some sort of meaning to your life. Looking back through history, we can see that an iconic figure such as Henry VIII was not only known as the fat bastard who ate all [...]

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Creased or Folded? hecklerspray Tells You the Way it is

by Chris Laverty

This week’s diamonds and diamante. Folded: Shutter Island (it’s good, but you won’t get it) Our first election debate (with 25-year-old set design. Felt young again. Thank you, ITV) Cheapy Easter eggs (half price and loving it. Kinnerton, Green & Black’s 70% Dark, all the fun ones) Episodes From Liberty City arrives on PS3 (only [...]

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Lee Ryan In Musical Directional Shock!

by Matthew Laidlow

We’re glad that our favourite ever boy band member has got some work on the go. After all, we wouldn’t like to see him tour the countries social clubs in a clapped out Clio doing his own solo gigs. Just imagine it, for the pricey sum of £50, a couple of pints and a bag of salted nuts you could have Lee Ryan perform all of his erm…”hits”.

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The World Of Music Almost Loses Lee Ryan

by Matthew Laidlow

It’s at this point in this story where we would make some sort of tasteless joke about Lee Ryan. You know, we may bring up that ridiculous quote of his around about elephants and 9/11. Or we could mock his inability to warm up some fish fingers when he was on I’m A Famous Person [...]

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Lee Ryan Rows With MySpace Lover, The Big Tool

by Matthew Laidlow

Joy Division once grimly said that love will tear us apart. It’s almost like Ian Curtis was the Nostradamus of predicting how long couples will last. Sitting in a specially adapted room, he’d glance at a pair of lovebirds before uttering “six months”, “forever” or “half an hour”. One person who could have benefited from [...]

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Our Favourite Boyband Blue Reforms For The Summer!

by Matthew Laidlow

At hecklerspray towers, nothing quite gets us excited like the opening of a bottle of beer and a sausage roll from the local bakers. Apart from rubbish PR requests from companies, nothing really gets us going in the morning. Now, we weren’t fed tons of money to promote this to you, but we thought we’d [...]

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Top 8 Bonkers Celebrities

by Josh Burt

Next time someone tells you that they’re a ‘little bit mad’, don’t greet the news with a cheerful honk and a quip about how you can be “bonkers” yourself sometimes. Call the cops, have them sectioned. It might seem harsh, but remember – there’s just one mood swing between a hilarious farting noise when you [...]

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Lee Ryan Out The Running For Father Of The Year

by Matthew Laidlow

For ages, hecklerspray believed that the most intimate act a married couple could engage in was the exchange of saliva when ramming their tongues down each others throats. However, we were proven wrong when we were told that a couple can prove their love for each other by ‘creating a baby’. This literally knocked us [...]

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Lee Ryan Guilty Of Smacking A Taxi Driver

by Matthew Laidlow

Hecklerspray is sad to announce that our number one celebrity fan, elephant lover and all round user of expletives has been found guilty of a heinous crime against a man of the people.

Lee Ryan was yesterday found guilty of punching taxi driver Naeem Ibrahim in the head. In a rare show of kindness, we empathise with our bruv.

Taxi drivers aren’t the best people in the world; they have their own highway code and ignore everyone else. But lamping one is a slightly wrong. At best, tip some garlic mayo from your kebab on the seat and run off after paying your fare. That’s what we’d do. We’re not the violent types. All our arguments are settled over a game of chess and glass of port.

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Lee Ryan Done Leathered A Taxi Driver’s Head In, Court Hears

by Stuart Heritage

If there’s one thing we hate it’s taxi drivers. Idiots, the lot of them, with their stupid job and their, um, shoes. And stuff.

OK, we don’t hate taxi drivers. Only a fool could bring himself to hate taxi drivers. And only a giant fool would be able to hate taxi drivers to the point of violence. A big stupid fool, probably with a rubbish face and BO and a dirty bumhole and fleas.

Lee Ryan from Blue was in court yesterday for allegedly punching a taxi driver in the side of the head three times. We don’t see how this alters our original point.

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