Massive news. Seriously. Forget all that News Corp guff. This is the biggie. Honest it is. We’re literally coming down with a dose of The News. Basically, Bigger Than The Beatles, Glee, is going to lose its two biggest stars.
Stars that just happened to be shaped exactly like Lea Michele and Cory Monteith. And someone called Chris Colfer.
This trio are going to make a hasty exit at the end of season three, presumably getting off before people grow tired of the show and stop watching it. Which you will. Despite what you say, you’ll soon give up on it and say “it’s not as good as it used to be”, despite the format remaining exactly the same forever and ever, amen.
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PAAAAT! FRAAAAANK! PAT! FRAAAAAAAAAANK! PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT! PAT! FRAAAAANK! PAAAAT! FRAAAAAAANK! FRANK! PAAAAAT! FRAAAAN! PAAAAT! FRANK! PAAAAT! PAAAAAT! FRAAAAAANK!
Viewers of Eastenders will know exactly what that opening paragraph is all about because, for a brief moment in Soapsville, Pat and Frank Butcher became the best thing since sliced Brian Tildsley guts.
However, Pam St Clement who plays Pat Butcher is leaving EastEnders, which is lousy news (that we’ll get over when the news picks up).
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You know how everything that happens behind the scenes of Grey’s Anatomy is infinitely more interesting than anything on the actual show?
Yeah, we should probably put that rumour to bed now. As it turns out, not everything that happens offscreen on Grey’s Anatomy is interesting. Like Melissa George‘s decision to leave the show, for example.
Melissa George isn’t leaving Grey’s Anatomy because she had a fight with a co-star, or because she’s a screaming homophobe, or because she’s a prissy diva who wanted more screentime. Melissa George is leaving Grey’s Anatomy because she wants to. Frankly we expected more.
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When Brad Pitt tells Angelina Jolie to jump, she says "how high?" And when Brad Pitt tells Angelina Jolie to start filling her guts up with unborn children, she'll stuff twice as many as he asked for up there.
That's the insinuation being made, anyway. Angelina Jolie reportedly only decided to fall pregnant with twins because she was scared that Brad Pitt would leave her if she didn't.
If that's true then Angelina Jolie is a fool. She should come and shack up with us, because we'd never ask her to get pregnant if she didn't want to. In fact, we hate children so much that we'd make her drown all her existing kids in the bath before we let her move her stuff in. That's the exact opposite of what Brad Pitt wants, which is why we're confident that Angelina Jolie will choose us.
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Anyone with personal issues that can only be solved by a level-headed pop-psych Vulcan who looks uncannily like Ben Kingsley will be a little bit upset with this.
Montel Williams is quitting his talk show.
Montel has announced that The Montel Williams Show will come to an end this season, leaving the world's troubled in the capable hands of Dr Phil. Well, capable insomuch that's he's basically just a big shouting bear with alopecia. But you get the idea.
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