Grown Up Gossip & Internet Villainy
JOSIE WALKS OUT OF THE ULTIMATE BIG BROTHER HOUSE
This afternoon Josie walked out of Ultimate Big Brother house via the fire exit in the garden after deciding the experience was all too overwhelming for her (and underwhelming for us).
And as luck would have it, one of the first people she should meet when she escaped through the camera runs was John James in the Big Brother car park, as he had been visiting the Big Brother compound to record a message to give to Josie.
Over the last few years David Tennant has firmly established himself as the most irritatingly wacky gonk-faced Doctor Who ever.
But all good things have to come to an end at some point, and that’s why David Tennant yesterday confirmed everyone’s worst fears – he’s making four more Doctor Who specials. No, that’s not it. We meant to say that after making his four Doctor Who specials, David Tennant is going to leave Doctor Who.
It was a sad announcement, and it’s left Doctor Who fans profoundly upset. But at the same time, the news has also kickstarted speculation over who’ll become the next Doctor Who. Finding an actor who can encapsulate David Tennant’s bravery, enthusiasm and range of zany facial expressions won’t be too hard, though, and we hear that fictional 1980s cartoon puppy Scrappy Doo is top of everyone’s wishlist.
Today is a sad day for anyone who’s ever wobbled their chin furiously and burbled “Blwoooear, Madge” – because Harold Bishop is leaving Neighbours.
It’s been announced that Ian Smith, the actor who plays Harold Bishop, is leaving Neighbours in October – and probably forever this time too, not swanning back in five years later because he spuriously only got amnesia instead of dying forever like everyone thought. Probably.
It’s upsetting to think that an ironic cultural touchstone such as Harold Bishop is really leaving Neighbours. The news has been such a shock to our systems that it even briefly reminded us that Neighbours was still actually on TV. We know – that’s how much of a shock it was.
You have to this for Cheryl Cole – at least she's got her dignity.
Sure, Cheryl may have stuck with Ashley Cole even though she knew he was cheating on her with a bunch of women, and only decided to leave him because she was embarrassed that the papers eventually found out, but apart from that Cheryl Cole's still got her dignity. And she once sang a song called Racey Lacey, but apart from that Cheryl's got dignity coming out of her wazoo.
Cheryl Cole's left Ashley Cole by the way. We think that was our original point.
The new series of I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here starts tonight, but it'll have to do so with one less deeply irritating attention-whore than it thought – Malcolm McLaren has pulled out.
Malcolm McLaren – former Sex Pistols manager, composer of songs about skipping and the bloke from a recent advert for mayonnaise – has suddenly decided that he doesn't want to be a contestant on this year's I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here mere hours before the show is set to begin. Nobody is sure what prompted Malcolm McLaren to pull out of I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here – the show where borderline famous people go to Australia, become the host body for all kinds of exotic skin-burrowing insects and survive exclusively on a diet of nothing but testicles and anuses – but it was probably because he couldn't stand spending a fortnight in the same campsite as that awful Changing Rooms woman.
Turns out that Emily Nakanda – the 15-year-old X Factor contestant who was last week described by Dermot O'Leary as 'spirited' – is actually a little bit more spirited than we could have guessed.
Not that we're saying Emily Nakanda is spirited in the sense that she stands up for what she believes in, rather that she's spirited in the sense that she goes around happyslapping other girls in attacks that are filmed on mobile phones and subsequently posted on the internet. And one such video of Emily Nakanda getting another girl in a headlock and pulling her hair has forced her to leave X Factor.
