It’s good to be writing trash about Lindsay Lohan again. For a moment, it looked like she was going to start being well-behaved and no-one wants that. Premature death, arrest, drug-use – all those things are fine. Being a goodytwoshoes? Who cares?
And since she got her ankle tag off, she’s been doing a nudie photoshoot for Playboy, which is thrilling for all concerned.
Better yet, is that some scamp has decided to leak the cover which features Lohan and her boobies are there and a red chair and… why don’t you see for yourself over the jump?
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You’re about to read an article that does not feature a picture of Taylor Swift with her boobies out. Sure, there IS a picture of what APPEARS to be Taylor Swift with her boobies out, but you’re imagining it.
Got that?
So the leaked picture which is over the jump is totally a figment of your imagination AND Taylor Swift is suing people about this picture which she says isn’t her. But she’s suing all the same. Of course, the image is NSFW. And no is it Taylor Swift. Definitely not.
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Hey! Hollywood! Well done! You’ve done well by pointing out that some actresses are much prettier than others. Bless you for that. We really didn’t know who to approach the whole thing and you went and said.
Just like that. You just came right out and spoke without a care in the world.
Basically, you went and said that Scarlett Johansson was far too beautiful to play the role of Lisbeth Salander in The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo films. The girl playing her now? She must be thrilled and all set to burn those self-shot pictures she was going to leak all by herself, now that hacker is in prison.
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Isn’t it great to see a superstar in an unguarded moment. They only let us see what they want us to see or generally portray themselves as something other than the real them entirely. Just like everyone, really.
However, these people are famous and more attractive and generally nicer to gawp at than Flubbo down the street with his roll-ups, carrier bags and back boobs.
And so, Florida’s Chris Chaney lightened up our days by hacking into celebrity email accounts and stealing naked pictures that they’d taken of themselves (to share with other people because, and this is nice to know, they’re all just as sexually needy as we, the people, and still need to impress people with self-shot nudey snaps) and giving them to us. And now he’d like to say sorry.
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Remember when we all saw Scarlett Johansson naked? Remember? And the internet melted? That was a fun time wasn’t it? Of course, we broke the story before anyone else and no-one noticed and we’re totally not bitter about it. At all. Nope. We don’t keep going over it in our head.
We’ll murder someone for this.
Anyway, friend of hecklerspray, Christopher Chaney from Jacksonville Florida, has been arrested as part of a year long investigation of celebrity hacking called Operation Hackerazzi. Great name for an operation. We would’ve called it Operation Celebritits. Either way, arrests have been made! WAHOO! AND IT WASN’T US GETTING CUFFED!
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Do you want to see leaked (by us) naked photosets of the hecklerspray writers? Of course you don’t. Collectively, we look like the melted waxwork tit of a gentleman pensioner. Firm, young, attractive celebrities are a different matter of course!
So when Scarlett Johansson accidentally ended up showing everyone more than intended, everyone exploded with excitement for three seconds before realising that seeing an actress in a state of undress isn’t at all peculiar.
Maybe it was catching her in a candid moment, naked as herself rather than a character, that got people wanting to ogle. Either way, she wasn’t happy and now, for the first time, she’s talking about it all. With her boobs out.
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Filth. Absolute filth. That’s what today’s celebrities are. You wouldn’t get old, classy celebrities like Marilyn Monroe posing naked for photographs would you? Certainly not. She had self-respect.
However, thanks to the wonderful technological advances of mobile phones and those cameras they’ve got built into them, we are now a planet of people capturing their nether-regions and sending them to other humans.
Celebs are no different… apart from the small fact that people want to hack into their phones and share them with the world. So which leaked celebrity n00dz are the best? Click over the jump where it is astonishingly NSFW.
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Despite looking like an Eagle-Eye Action Man, Justin Timberlake is a very fancied man. This is because he’s rich, can sing, dance and… crucially… has a self-deprecating sense of humour. Oh, swoon. If only he’d grow his Pot Noodle hair out again.
Mila Kunis meanwhile, is just really fit and went down on Natalie Portman in Black Swan, keeping your underpant botherers in mucky daydreams for a lifetime.
However, the most exciting thing concerning this pair is the news that some nudes have been leaked a la Scarlett Johansson. Wanna know more? Course you do.
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