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lawsuit

Video That Confirms That Jersey Shore Is A Giant Fake

by Mof Gimmers

For some reason, we’ve credited you slobs with some intelligence. Christ knows why. We’ve read the comments you leave. Either way, some of you ain’t so bad. Some of you have probably only seen Jersey Shore out of morbid curiosity. If you watched it, you probably thought ‘By Jove! This is faker than Kim Kardashian’s [...]

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Justin Bieber: The Dog Is Not His, And The Baby? Well…

by Mof Gimmers

So. The big news about Justin Bieber is this: He’s putting a Christmas album out that is so bad that the holiday season is going to be cancelled (the terrorists have finally won). He’s also adopted a dog. He’s also sired a child with a woman who kinda raped him, legally speaking. Okay? We’re up [...]

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Ashton Kutcher Had Unprotected Sex With Sara Leal. Just Think About That.

by Mof Gimmers

You know how Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore are totally getting a divorce? They are. Not that we’ve actually spoken to either of them because, regrettably, they’ve stopped taking our calls. But they are. They definitely, definitely are. Allegedly. (Definitely). Why? Well, any marriage that tries to fix itself with Kabbalah deserves to fail. In [...]

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Demi Moore And Her Bizarre Breasts Are Divorcing Ashton Kutcher

by Mof Gimmers

As our picture, right, shows, Demi Moore’s breasts loomed large in the marriage between the actress and Ashton Kutcher (currently of no-fixed talent). They were there. Hovering. Rock hard. Of course, this is based on having been unfortunate enough to have seen them in Striptease (so bad it’s not even camp). Those surgeon’s butcheries have [...]

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Ashton Kutcher And Demi Moore Decide To Be Religious So People Don’t Think They’ve Split Up, Which Is Handy

by Mof Gimmers

Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore have been oddly silent while everyone looks on, suspecting that the Two And A Half Men’er stuck his wotsit into a young lady when he should’ve been buying Milk Tray on their wedding anniversary. For a normally talkative twosome, this silence has only added fuel to the fire that says  [...]

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Stare At The Face Of The Woman Who May Have Had Sex With Ashton Kutcher (And Pretend You’re Him If You Like)

by Mof Gimmers

Is this the face of the woman at the centre of the potential split between Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore? Or is it just some random photograph we found online? We don’t know. Neither do you. You’d never really thought about any old picture being used as a possibility in the media until now. That’s [...]

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Ashton Kutcher’s ‘Mistress’ Gets Herself A Lawyer, Which Is Good News

by Mof Gimmers

What do celebrities like? Drugs. What else do they like? Money and lots of it. Okay, what else? Attention. Okay, apart from drugs, money and attention, what else do they like? No? They like having affairs, stupid. And a 23-year-old woman is accusing the weird hairlined Ashton Kutcher of cheating on his oddly framed wife, [...]

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Abercrombie & Fitch Hate Jersey Shore’s The Situation More Than You Do

by Mof Gimmers

You know Jersey Shore? That’s right – the thing you can blame dreck like Geordie Shore and The Only Way Is Essex on. Well, one of the stars of the show – The Situation – is a monumental penis who has somehow weaselled his way into the VIP section. So all is well? Not quite. [...]

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Ask Paris Hilton If She’s Past It And She’ll Strop Off And Then Show You A Kennel Posher Than Your House

by Mof Gimmers

Paris Hilton is a woman who is, of yet, still to reveal her talents to us, despite being fantastically famous. Sure, she’s had a couple of television shows and a record out… but so has Handy Andy from Changing Rooms. Doggedly, she remains. She is now famous simply by the virtue of willing it. She [...]

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Britney Spears Is A Stinking, Dirty, Farting, Wretched Human Says Coward

by Mof Gimmers

Remember Britney Spears bending over whilst sporting nothing but a short nightie, showing her meat to a security guard? Remember? She also sent him naked pictures of herself? Honestly. A security guard who worked for her said it, so it must be true. That’s because, as Kevin Costner showed us, security guards are just about [...]

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