Laurence Fishburne - HecklerSpray

Emmy Awards Nominations 2011! Hurray! Let Us Roundly Mock The Choices!

July 15th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Hurray! Another utterly pointless awards ceremony is rolling into our collective consciousness to make us take sides between things that can actually be enjoyed simultaneously!

Of course, the real winners in all of this are America’s coke-dealers and the Emmy Awards is timed perfectly so that the dope pushers will have a really bumper Christmas this year. Plastic surgeons are also stocking up on septum repair kits too. How amazingly heartwarming.

The Emmys, as you definitely know, celebrate the best in American television and will be held on Sunday, September 18th… shown on Fox who everyone hates at the moment. And the big guns making vague headlines are Modern Family (*shrug*) and the utter dross that is The Big Bang Theory. In drama, the wonderful trio of Mad Men, Game of Thrones, and The Good Wife bag several nominations. Let us peer at the rest of the nominations over the jump.

Once Upon a Time, We Wouldn’t Care but Now, Montana Fishburne has Beaten Someone Up

August 12th, 2010 By Mof Gimmers

She got fingered in a skin-flick and now, Montana Fishburne – daughter of Laurence Fishburne – is getting fingered in court after apparently beating the living shit out of someone in their own home.

Montana, who no-one had really heard of until she announced she was going to make a porn film called How To Really Embarrass Your Academy Award Winning Father, was arrested in February after she barged into someone’s house to knock seven shades out of her.

Laurence Fishburne is currently wondering where he went wrong with the child.

Gallery and Video of Montana Fishburne’s Porn Shoot

August 15th, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

Poor old Laurence Fishburne. The only time he’s appearing in the news lately is next to salacious stories about his offspring having sex on film. Lovely. Never mind all those insanely famous films and Oscars and the like. We’re all talking about your daughter’s vagina. What’s more troubling is that his daughter looks a helluva lot like him.

Imagine that. Essentially what we’re faced with is a woman having sex on video who looks like Charlie Brooker, blacked-up with tits. It’s a horrifying prospect.

Of course, you’ll still want to see bits of it because, quite frankly, you’re all pigs.

Laurence Fishburne’s Daughter Shoots Porn

August 2nd, 2010 By Mof Gimmers

Want to make it in the movies? Well, it’s a slippery pole to grab, as Laurence Fishburne’s 19-year-old daughter Montana is proving. Literally. That’s because ‘slippery pole’ in this case means oiled-up member as she wants to make a sex tape.

Of course, her dad got respect from starring in films such as ‘Apocalypse Now’, ‘What’s Love Got to Do With It?’ and ‘The Matrix’ trilogy. So while he’s starring on CSI, his offspring will be… well… you’ve seen dirty films so you know the score.

And what’s brought all this on? Nepotism not offering a door opening so she’s opening her legs?

Armored: Blu-ray Review

August 5th, 2012 By David Scarborough

Predators: that looks a decent film, doesn't it? we're all looking forward to watching?the limp-wristed Adrian Brody holding a gun in an image akin to a Twiglit holding a cricket bat, right?

What you probably didn't realise is that the unfortunately named Nimrod Antel has recently honed his directing chops on Armored, which hits DVD and Blu-ray this week.

It's a pretty simple set-up, evoking several shades of Assault on Precinct 13 (even down to some similar music cues). It's the Carpenter film that the old pro hasn’t been able to make since he slung together the atrocious Ghosts of Mars and then cashed in for his bus pass.