Articles tagged with: Larry King Live
Ryan Seacrest To Possibly Inherit Larry King’s Swivel-Chair Throne
Larry King has been interviewing people with bad posture since he was two. That is to say his posture is poor – that of his guests is nothing less than perfect. They all sit there straight-backed with pinkies extended while flipping through etiquette books and properly addressing each piece of silverware. King's got a cooking show, right? No? But as we said – King’s been at this interviewing business for some time now – on his current show since 1985 if our sources are correct. But he can’t keep at it forever you know. If he’s ever going to dedicate himself to making more Jewish/Mormon hybrids he’s gotta act fast. He’s getting older – soon his ovarian tubes will shrivel, drying his man-milk reservoir to an endless low. Before long, for baby making he’ll have to rely solely on fluids drawn from Lake Michigan, which has a one-part spoo three-parts water ratio. And when he retires, who do you think will have the hunched-at-a-desk prowess, the swivel-chair stamina and the never-ending suspender collection to replace him? Why, Ryan Seacrest, apparently.
