There’s nothing weirder than finding people who are so obsessed with something that they’re willing to go to any length of internet-based conflict in order to defend their nonsensical beliefs. It is a trait most often seen in fans of Muse, Twilight, INXS, Queen and, quite inexplicably, Larry David. There are few things that hecklerspray writers love more than these people. The ‘whine’ of fans.
And so we come to our weekly perusal of our post, the time that- for us- is the closest we’ll ever come to having sex with Ann Widdicombe. We approach the post bag with a mixture of terror and morbid curiosity with only a modicum of sexual excitement, we reach out our shaking, clammy paws.
Find out what becomes of us over the jump…
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Larry David, the man who’s brought us partially ad-libbed cringe comedy for the last THREE HUNDRED YEARS has told ESPN New York that he is still having fun filming Curb Your Enthusiasm. This statement flies in the face of criticism from some corners of the press which suggest that the show has lost its way.
David, responsible for being part of the team that brought us the equally diabolical Seinfeld, in which unlikeable cockhorse Jerry Seinfeld jogged through life in (admittedly wonderful) trainers while making bland observations about everyday occurrences.
This was all while his equally neurotic friends jogged their way miserably through their own lives, somehow finding them enriched by Jerry’s incessant bland observations.
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You know what makes us randy? Environmental meltdown. Show us a bushfire and we’ll show you an erection.
Drowning polar bears? Basically porn. And, if rumours are to be believed, we’re not the only ones. Take Al Gore, for example. He spends so long staring at photos of oil slicks and slowing gulf streams and endangered animals that we wouldn’t forgive him for being the horniest man alive. He’d probably shag anything after discussing depleted fish stocks for an hour, and that could explain the claim that Al Gore’s marriage ended because of an affair with Larry David‘s ex-wife and fellow environmentalist Laurie David.
Fortunately Laurie David has denied the report, calling it “patently untrue”. In which case, congratulations to Al Gore – how one man can spend so long thinking about flood-induced refugees and not end up a total shagmachine is completely beyond us.
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The 90s were a decade in which hecklerspray spent most of its time picking food off of dead cats under parental supervision.
The things we were picking off them were typically ice cream, maraschino cherries and large dollops of whipped cream. Our father was a dinnerware-themed taxidermist, you see, and our mother’s passion was frozen dairy – the rarest of combinations.
Half the time we were eating milk products out of hollowed dead mice, we did so in front of Seinfeld, which was something we westerners like to call a ‘sitcom.’
Speaking of which – it’s coming back you know.
Kinda.
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