Everyone has their own way of mourning the dead, but we can all agree that becoming creepily attached to the deceased's used underwear is perfectly normal.

That's why we're not going to judge Larry Birkhead, even though he's just decided that the best way for Anna Nicole Smith's daughter Dannielynn to remember her mother is to spend $2,800 on bits of her sexy lingerie at a charity auction.

Of course, Larry Birkhead isn't going to just give Anna Nicole Smith's underwear to Dannielynn right away – he wants to wait until she grows up first. Because if he gives it to her now she'll be far too young to develop any decent long-lasting psychological scars, and where's the fun in that? No, that's why Larry Birkhead is keeping Anna Nicole Smith's lingerie in a safe place for the time being – on his face while he sleeps. Or he isn't. Don't quote us.

Anna Nicole Smith may have died 16 months ago, but she'll always be with us – just so long as those who knew her keep doing all kinds of mental crap that freaks the living cocks out of us on a regular basis.

Which, to be fair, they are. If they're not squabbling over who got Anna Nicole Smith pregnant, they're allegedly having gay sex with everyone or trademarking creepy little phrases that they said to her while she slept or trying to sell videos of Anna Nicole Smith's breast enlargement operations. So thank you, everyone – you're making sure that we never forget what a scary, clownfaced, barely-coherent, drug-bloated star of light erotica Anna Nicole Smith really was.

But what if none of that actually creeped you out all that much? What if you've always wanted to feel your skin crawl when thinking about Anna Nicole Smith, but you've never managed it? Don't worry – Larry Birkhead feels your pain. That's why he's bought a lot of Anna Nicole Smith's sexy underwear at auction and plans to let her daughter Dannielynn play with it.

There you go – your skin's crawling away like a good'un now, isn't it. Feel free to even let out a disturbed yelp or two as well if it helps. E! Online has more:

Baby daddy Larry Birkhead is looking forward to showing 1-year-old Dannielynn the lingerie he purchased at a celebrity auction on Saturday night, a pink bustier (bought for $1,800) and white negligee (bought for $1,000) once worn by the late model for a Playboy photo shoot. Smith's onetime boyfriend said he wants to make sure the young heiress has something to remember her mom by.

Actually, that makes quite a lot of sense – aside from a crateful of empty prescription medication bottles, perhaps sexy underwear really is the best way for Dannielynn to remember Anna Nicole Smith.

One day, when the baby has reached an appropriate age, Larry Birkhead can sit her down on her knee, show her the lingerie and explain that the shiny clothes are what mommy used to wear to hide her crippling emotional dependency on others. It will be a touching moment, although a quick blast of that video where Anna Nicole Smith has it off with a maid in the bath would have probably achieved the same result and saved Larry a few thousand dollars.

Anna Nicole Smith – or 'the American Princess Diana' as one person called her before they felt silly and left the room – has been dead for a while.

For a year, in fact – today is the first anniversary of Anna Nicole Smith's untimely death at the hands on all sorts of different drugs. And, although the anniversary has been marked by a moving tribute by Larry Birkhead, it's also being commemorated by the public as well.

So if you see any confused, slurring women stumbling around tonight, with their faces proudly daubed to make them look like the kind of clown that children see in horror movies, know that it's all in remembrance of Anna Nicole Smith.

It doesn't seem like a year since Anna Nicole Smith died, does it? That's because, what with all the squabbles about her burial site and who fathered her daughter and who got all her money, people only actually shut up about Anna Nicole Smith about a couple of weeks ago, and even then Heath Ledger's death made everyone remember her anyway. 

But anyway, although it's easy to laugh at Anna Nicole Smith for being a hopelessly bewildering clown-faced drug-addled soft-porn star who went to the trouble of fake-marrying her own lawyer just to pass off her baby as his and had a creepy habit of treating dolls as if they were real, it's important to remember that she was a real person. And, as such, individuals are marking her death by doing something a little more heartfelt than just reminding everyone that Anna Nicole Smith used to paint her face like the world's most nightmarish clown like we're doing.

For example, Larry Birkhead – the father of Anna Nicole Smith's daughter Dannielynne Hope briefly stopped trying to hit on Paris Hilton to deliver his own, actually rather heartfelt, message on his website today:

"Anna Nicole Smith I LOVE YOU AND HOPE YOU ARE PROUD OF OUR BEAUTIFUL BABY GIRL. PLEASE WATCH OVER US AND GUIDE US ON OUR JOURNEY THROUGH LIFE. WE MISS YOU.

2-8-07

LOVE,

LARRY AND DANNIELYNN"  

Which is quite sad, at least until you remember that the love probably isn't reciprocated if the endless ways that Anna Nicole Smith attempted to wriggle out of all those DNA paternity tests when she was still alive are anything to go by, and that those rumours about Larry Birkhead and Howard K Stern being gay lovers are still floating about.

Still, let's not get dragged down by too much mawkishness. Let's use today to remember the way that Anna Nicole Smith really was…

OK, scrub that. Let's remember Anna Nicole Smith in a way that's more flattering and a bit less truthful.

Read more: 

Larry Birkhead Leaves Tribute to Anna Nicole Smith – People 

That Paris Hilton, she sure knows how to pick them. 'Them' of course, referring to blokes whose sperm seems to either send women a bit mental or completely dead.

Just yesterday we were telling you about Paris Hilton and Britney Spears' ex-husband Kevin Federline cosying up in a Las Vegas nightclub, but it seems like Paris wasn't done there, as it's transpired that she then went out the very next night and did exactly the same thing to Larry Birkhead, the last man on Earth to knock Anna Nicole Smith up before she died. We're not sure if chatting to odd, semi-famous men is going to be Paris Hilton's hot new trend for 2008 or not yet, but hopefully it is, because at this rate it won't be long before she's seen out with Trevor, the fictional Scottish wife-beater husband of Little Mo from EastEnders. And that would just be adorable.

Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan have a long rivalry that includes everything from alleged phone-hacking to the brutal allocation of invisible bruises. But now it seems as though Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan have decided to team up in an effort to get themselves romantically involved with every single man on the planet before the end of 2008.

Lindsay Lohan's already cracking on with the task in Europe, snogging all of Italy at a party at the weekend. And Paris Hilton is just as eager, although her tactic varies a little. She's taking on the American men first, and seems to be using a list starting with the least desirable and working her way up.

Yesterday we reported the horrific Paris Hilton/ Kevin Federline union that lasted for two nights at the arse-end of this year and now it seems that Paris has stumbled across another man famous for having sex with slightly deranged women. It's Larry Birkhead, the man who had sex with Anna Nicole Smith and got her pregnant a few months before she died. According to the Daily Mail, Hilton and Birkhead were seen in the middle of an 'intimate chat' which definitely means that Paris Hilton and Larry Birkhead are absolutely, 100% doing it with each other all the time and probably right now.

Look, one picture of two people talking in a nightclub doesn't especially mean that anything romantic is going on between them – not when there's a far more logical explanation available. You see, Paris Hilton recently lost most of her billion-dollar inheritance when her grandfather decided to give 97% of it to charity. And Larry Birkhead's daughter Dannielynn might eventually be the recipient of the $474 million that Anna Nicole Smith was fighting for from her marriage to that old rich bloke. Yes? You're starting to get it?

It means that Paris Hilton wants to be Dannielynn's granddaughter. Obviously.

Read more:

New Year and new man for Paris: Socialite cosies up to Anna Nicole Smith's ex – Daily Mail