by Stuart Heritage
Do you want the good news or the bad news first? Well, tough, you’re getting the bad news – it’s awards season.
You know, that long, slow, dull deathmarch to the Oscars where every single vaguely filmy organisation on the face of the planet announces which movies it enjoyed watching most. But more than that, awards season marks the time of year when we wish we had another job. Any other job. A job involving heights and spikes and angry bears, even.
And now the good news – The Los Angeles Film Critics Association gave its best picture award to WALL-E.
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by Stuart Heritage
If you’re a member of a stadium-filling middle-aged American rock band, you must be slowly waking up to the fact that God hates you.
That’s the only way we can explain why a series of Biblical plague-style accidents keep wrecking their homes, anyway. Just weeks after Flea from the Red Hot Chili Peppers’ house burnt down in the Malibu wildfires, Eddie Van Halen’s house has got all muddy because a water main freakishly broke near his house yesterday. Actually it’s a little more serious than we’re making out – thousands of gallons of water uprooted trees in Eddie Van Halen’s garden, filled over his swimming pool and narrowly avoided causing permanent damage to his house.
Memo to God: when you get round to unleashing your plague of unhealable boils, might we suggest Bon Jovi as a target. Again, that’s Bon Jovi.
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