Articles tagged with: Kylie Minogue
Coldplay, like you didn't already know, have an album coming out soon entitled Look Mummy I'm Just Like Bono! Wheeee! Or something. And, from what we've heard, the new Coldplay album is a lot like the old Coldplay album - it's all inoffensively big-sounding and the lyrics don't make much sense and it'll work decently enough as a soundtrack to those bi-monthly trips to Habitat with the kids. But one thing it isn't is sexy. Never fear, though, because Coldplay have already found a solution - they've apparently recorded a duet with Kylie. It would have been on their new album, too, except that Chris Martin says it's "just too sexy". Hecklerspray accepts no liability for the almost-guaranteed permanent loss of libido caused by reading that last sentence.
Lindsay Lohan wants to merge the musical styles of Kylie and Rihanna for her upcoming album.
Lindsay Lohan is determined to pursue her music career, according to The Daily Telegraph (of Australia), with Kylie's and Rihanna's back catalogue the inspiration behind her new record. Lohan said:
"I want it to be dance. I want it to be kind of Kylie Minogue meets Rihanna. I hope to tour with it and I hope to really promote it. I've already done three songs. I'm doing my third in New York, actually."
In the history of the world, there's never been a more magical couple than Kylie Minogue and that French bloke, whatever his name is.
But sadly Kylie Minogue and Oliver Martinez - that's his name - split up last year, instantly killing our hopes that they'd eventually have a half-French midget baby with unexplainably tight facial skin.
However, now it looks like Kylie Minogue and Olivier Martinez are back together, and the baby plans are back on. And not a moment too soon - we want to see if Kylie Minogue's range of one and a half facial expressions is genetic.
It was once said that everybody is doing a brand new dance now, and that we should perform said dance, known as the locomotion. It was Kylie Minogue who made that statement, and it just so happens that she also starred in this year’s epic Doctor Who special as a delightfully downtrodden waitress.
The fact that ‘downtrodden’ almost rhymes with ‘wooden’ isn’t just a coincidence; Kylie’s performance was lacking in parts, but fortunately that didn’t detract from the overall enjoyment. The special was set on board the spaceship Titanic and, you guessed it, something went wrong.
Remember when this series of X Factor started and everyone said that the final this year would be an orgy of megastardom, topped off with the triumphant live return of Michael Jackson?
Things haven't quite worked out that way. Instead, the special celebrity guests set to appear on Saturday's X Factor final are Kylie Minogue and Jason Donovan - a woman with an underperforming album and a man most recently seen on TV advertising prawn rings with Kerry Katona during I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here. We're going to have to invest in some lead-lined sunglasses before Saturday's X Factor final, in case the incandescent star wattage of two people who recorded an ironic Christmas power ballad together 19 years ago burns our eyeballs into raisins.
Social networking has literally revolutionised the way you keep in touch with people you didn't want to be friends with in the first place, but Kylie Minogue has identified one very serious design flaw.
That is, social networking is fine, but by and large people don't talk about Kylie Minogue very much. Happily, though, Kylie Minogue has remedied this by creating a Facebook-style social network site that's all Kylie Minogue all the time. KylieKonnect is the place where Kylie Minogue fans can register their details, keep in closer contact with Kylie than ever before and share their passion for all things Kylie with all the other Kylie fans in the world. Needless to say, KylieKonnect is probably the gayest little website the world has ever seen.
