As we speak, Jessica Simpson is in Kuwait, ready to boost troop morale by jiggling her boobies around and kidding herself that people are interested in her singing voice.

It's a lovely, kindhearted thing for Jessica Simpson to do. Or at least it would be, if Jessica hadn't ratcheted up a gigantic bill to hand the organisers in the process.

Although her Kuwait visit is essentially a goodwill trip, Jessica Simpson's private jet, accommodation and beauty entourage will leave concert organisers MySpace hundreds of thousands of dollars out of pocket. That's fair enough, though – those troops want to see a bright-orange man-jawed bimbo of questionable musical credibility, not a bright-orange man-jawed bimbo of questionable musical credibility with a rubbish make-up job.

Jessica Simpson's visit to Kuwait as part of Operation MySpace today has raised her profile immeasurably. A few weeks ago Jessica Simpson was the star of a hopeless turkey of a movie, presenter of a binned fitness DVD and girlfriend to an identikit sports star. A far cry from the days of Jessica Simpson being America's sweetheart just because she got to show off her tits and her devastating lack of intelligence on that reality TV show of hers, you'll agree.

But then Jessica Simpson announced her Kuwait concert and she was everyone's number one doll again. As well as reminding the world that she's a singer, Jessica Simpson also showed that she wasn't the vacuous, shallow-hearted, out-of-touch moron that some would have you believe. No – she was going to gee up the sagging morale of the troops stationed in Kuwait, and all for free. What a wonderful, if slightly oddly-coloured, girl Jessica Simpson is.

Except it's not completely free. Not once you've factored in expenses like the private jet and the expensive entourage that Jessica Simpson sure as sugar isn't paying for. MSNBC reports:

According to a source close to the Simpson camp, a private plane carrying Simpson and her entourage — which includes dad Joe, hairstylist Ken Paves, her personal assistant and a stylist — left L.A. and was due in Kuwait the evening of March 9. Total cost for the plane was approximately $150,000. Someone will be picking up the tab for accommodations as well, even though it’s been touted that Simpson will be forgoing her standard hotel suite to spend the night living like the troops in a bunk… Other expenses include her stylist and makeup artist (who both charge approximately $6,000 per day), and [hairdresser Ken] Paves, whose day rate is a whopping $10,000, according to the Simpson source.

$22,000 a day just to make Jessica Simspon look presentable? That's… well, actually that probably just about covers the cost of the Polyfilla and weaponised bronzer that she looks as if she rolls around in first thing each morning. Fair enough.

MySpace spokespeople have maintained that, although Jessica Simpson has racked up a hefty expenses bill, she hasn't been paid for the performance itself and is basically doing a good thing. Which, on reflection is probably true. How can sending Jessica Simpson to a country studded with anti-personnel landmines and chock full of lethal automatic weapons be anything but good? Jessica, we forgive you.

Read more:

Simpson’s Kuwait concert ‘isn’t a charity show’ – MSNBC 

Fed up with making underwhelming movies and songs, Jessica Simpson has apparently decided to go to Kuwait and gee up the troops there.

We know what you're thinking. Haven't those poor soldiers already suffered enough without Jessica Simpson turning up to bawl bad music at them?

But that's unfair. Maybe Jessica Simpson is only going to Kuwait to perform a concert for the still-green new recruits alone. This is a time of war, remember, and if an inane bimbette warbling flaccid MOR pop songs is what'll break those kids' spirits for good and transform them into the kind of dead-eyed murder machines that the government requires them to be, then that's what needs to be done.

Remember when Jessica Simpson had it all? Obviously by 'all' we mean 'a sham marriage and a cack-brained reality TV show on a cable music channel' – but remember when Jessica Simpson had that, anyway? It was a long-forgotten past the likes of which Jessica Simpson will never see again.

Now all that Jessica Simpson has is an embarrassingly underperforming movie career, an alarmingly wayward singing voice, a boyfriend with a name like an unimpressive chain of rib-based restaurants and a fitness DVD that's got her sued. Things are so bad that Jessica Simpson can only turn things around in one of two ways – she can either take off all her clothes or become the forces' sweetheart.

And although the former is thunderingly inevitable, it looks like the latter is what Jessica Simpson will concern herself for the time being. Probably. And if she does, it's a secret, so shhh. E! Online reports:

The buxom blonde purportedly posted the following on fansite Sweetkisses.net: "I am heading to Kuwait to do a show for the troops, then back in the studio." … But by this afternoon, any mention of an overseas journey had been deleted and this was left in its place: "Hey ya'll. I just wanted to say hi, and let you know that I am hard at work on my country record, and I can't wait to share it will all of you. I love you all and am so blessed by the support and love you show me everyday!! xoxo jess."

Two things. First, xoxo back Jess, lol!!!1! And secondly, is Jessica Simpson going to Kuwait or not? While we understand that Jessica Simpson wants to protect her privacy on such a potentially dangerous journey in case the entire Iraqi insurgency – big readers of Sweetkisses.net, the lot of them – flood into Kuwait to try and get Jessica to sign their Employee Of The Month DVDs, we still have a right to know if this performance is going ahead.

Because the price of oil is bound to up once all the Kuwaiti oil well workers have deafened themselves with knitting needles in advance of the visit, you see, and we want to stockpile.

Read more:

Is Jessica Off To Kuwait? – E! Online