Kung Fu Panda - HecklerSpray

Has Angelina Jolie Ever Told You That Her Kids Love Kung Fu Panda?

March 25th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

As a mother, Angelina Jolie knows what’s important for a child – a gormless name and a forced appreciation of her films, mainly.

Well, OK, not all of her films. Not yet, anyway – although we do hear that Angelina Jolie plans to use her love scene with Antonio Banderas from Original Sin as a sexually-confusing substitute for her childrens’ birds and bees talk – just Kung Fu Panda.

To promote the DVD release of Kung Fu Panda, Angelina Jolie has once again decided to mine the limitless marketing resource that is her children, telling anyone who’ll listen that they just love the movie. Luckily for Angelina Jolie, she didn’t try this trick with A Mighty Heart – apparently Pax Thien found it ‘ponderous’, with Shiloh Nouvel dubbing it ‘transparent award-bait at best’.

Creased or Folded? hecklerspray Tells You the Way it is

August 4th, 2012 By Chris Laverty

A hot and not list. How gay!

Folded:

Kung Fu Panda (this is what the kids want: animals and violence!)
The Sopranos pinball machine (‘woke up this morning, had a stupid idea’)
Quizmania is coming back to the UK (hello 2006)
Marks and Spencer ‘Woodspice‘ aftershave (smell manly like your dad)
Piers Morgan (don’t watch any of his TV, and he’s a right fat big head, yet his celeb-bashing weekly column is wicked fun)

Creased:

The Mechanik starring Dolph Lundgren out now on DVD (the ‘k’ is ‘cos he’s foreign)

Kung Fu Panda Shatters Box Office Records! Only In Korea!

March 25th, 2009 By Shawn Lindseth

In Korea the panda is a symbol of hope, able-bodiedness and freedom. They often grace the minds of children as they drift to sleep, and inspire all others to live, to love, and to perhaps one day become a zookeeper for the sake of proximity to them or something.

Keep in mind none of this applies if the specific panda is still a communist. If it’s a communist panda the people generally consider it an idiot.

But perhaps this panda-love is the reason Kung Fu Panda just shattered Korean box office records. We think the previous record holder was their version of Lonesome Dove, which was similar to the better known 1989 mini-series except their dove actually had quite a few close friends.

Jack Black Has Another Baby, Nobody Cares

March 24th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

Since Angelina Jolie and Nicole Kidman are getting ready to shoot babies out of their nethers, appetite for celebrity babies has never been higher.

Unless you’re Jack Black, of course. If you’re Jack Black then nobody really gives much of a hoot about how many children you’ve got. For instance, it’s all over the news at the moment that Jack Black and his wife Tanya have had their second baby.

How do they know? Were hordes of paparazzi camped outside the maternity wards of every hospital in LA? Had midwives been secretly bribed by celebrity magazines to reveal confidential secrets? No. Jack Black had to tell them that they had the baby ‘about a week ago’ during a premiere. Still, the lack of interest in his baby shouldn’t detract from the photo deal he’s just signed – £3.50 for a half-page spread near the back of What Horsebox magazine.