kris humphries - HecklerSpray

Shocker: Kris Humphries did NOT get an STD from Kim Kardashian

May 4th, 2014 By Krysta Fitzpatrick

Up until today I had no idea that anyone was even accusing Kris Humphries of giving them herpes, but the more I think about it, I’m amazed, SHOCKED even, that this is the first time someone who’s banged a Kardashian has been accused of having an STD.?

After Kim quit his ass after 72 so she could ride on Kanye West’s moody dick and make baby North by North West, Kris Humphries had a one night stand with some skag named Kayla Goldberg. Not long after, Kayla was suing his ass for giving her the gift that keeps on giving: herpes.

Kim Kardashian Is Being Taken To Court By Ex-Husband Over Wedding Presents

March 30th, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

Firstly, well done if you half read the headline and thought it was about David Gedge. Secondly, how awful a human must Kim Kardashian be if estranged husband Kris Humphries is taking her to court over some wedding presents, which were going to benefit charity?

See, after the demise of their 72 day marriage, Kris Humphries has been apoplectic with rage. Kim K, trying to put a positive spin on it, had decided to keep their wedding gifts but?donate double their value to charity.

He’s not having that.

Khloe Kardashian Quits PETA After They Flour Kim, Like A Stropping Baby

March 27th, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

Ah, wasn’t it fun when Kim Kardashian got a flour bomb in her hair and all over her clothes? Schoolboy prankery is always welcomed on hecklerspray. As suspected, the flour bomb was from someone connected to PETA, which sullies things.

PETA aren’t particularly fun are they? Sure, they’re entitled to their beliefs, but wouldn’t it be nice if they looked like they had a sense of humour once in a while?

And not laughing about?Christina Cho’s bomb attack is Khloe Kardashian. She’s not happy at all. And weirdly, she’s a representative for PETA, so where does that leave us? Hissy Fit Central, that’s where.

Kim Kardashian Gets Flour Bombed On Red Carpet [Video]

March 23rd, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

Kim Kardashian was ATTACKED on a RED CARPET with a flour BOMB leaving the SEX TAPE superstar humiliated at the launch of her of perfume. Obviously, it is THOROUGHLY hilarious.

An unidentified ASIAN woman lobbed the cookery powder GRENADE at Kardashian’s head and, to be honest, we don’t honestly care why. That’s because throwing flour bombs at the prissy people is always a gigantic hoot.

What is WORSE for Kim is that, despite all the press attention, we’ve still failed to mention the name of the perfume she was promoting. Shall we look at the VIDEO when someone flours a Kardashian? If you want, you can imagine it is an ATTACK with ANTHRAX.

Kim Kardashian, Surprisingly, Doesn’t Listen To People

March 22nd, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

Kim Kardashian. She’s not the sharpest hose in the shed is she? Berated recently by Daniel Craig and That Bloke From Mad Men… even slated by Jason Statham who is about as useful as a condom made of steam, Kim’s critics are plentiful.

So it is of little surprise that Kimmy Kimya Kim K doesn’t really like to listen to people.

In fact, this I’M NOT LISTENING thing carries as far (or near) as her family. Just imagine switching off every time Mama Jenner starts talking. Hard to imagine, eh?

Mad Men’s Jon Hamm Acts Like A Wimp After Slagging Kim Kardashian

March 15th, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

Remember?Jon Hamm calling Kim?Kardashian names? He basically said that she, along with Paris Hilton, was stupid. She didn’t like it and took to Twitter to underline how successful she is and everyone only ended up thinking of Christina Hendricks’ boobs anyway.

Either way, Mad Men’s Hamm (that sounds rude) is now slowly backing away from his comments because he’s clearly realised he’s got a new season of the show to promote and doesn’t want to alienate anyone.

Like a massive wimp.

Kim Kardashian Doesn't Like Being Called An Idiot

August 3rd, 2012 By Matthew Laidlow

If you did nothing but lounge around all day and just sit in your pants eating Space Raiders and drinking Tango, what would people think? They certainly wouldn't be jealous of your luxury lifestyle; instead they?d be calling you all sorts of rude and nasty names.

Switch this concept over to America and the opinion dramatically changes. Gone are the thoughts that you're an inept moron who can't grasp the concept of slip on shoes. Instead, our chums in the USA hail celebrity layabouts such as Paris Hilton and more recently, Kim Kardashian.

The Kardashian family are something of a sinister idea in itself. Start with controlling mother Kris who ensures all of her female offspring have the initials ?KK? and it makes for hilarious fun. Connections to the KKK are unknown. Unfamiliar to most of us until head daughter Kim had a blissful 72 day marriage, she now gets upset over criticism she receives. Such as comments made by Mad Men star Jon Hamm.

Kim Kardashian Tweets Picture Of Herself As Naked As Nature Intended

February 28th, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

Kim Kardashian is a very private girl, remember? She doesn’t like to share too much of her private life unless it’s the day of her wedding or the rest of her life through her twitter account and reality TV programme.

Other than that, she’s a very secretive, private girl.

And now, she’s sending pictures of herself out online in a state of undress, without any makeup on and invariably fishing for compliments like those girls who pose in their bra, tweet it, and sigh “I’m so fat” or “I’m feeling pretty ugly today guys”, only to be flooded with fished-for compliments from sad men and kindly, envious women. Anyway, shall we get on with looking at the picture?

Kourtney Kardashian Is Having A Girl Because It Was Either That Or A Boy

February 23rd, 2012 By Joanna Bolouri

There are some stories, so mediocre and unexceptional that they make us wonder why we chose to continue living in a world that causes us so much pain on a daily basis. ?This is one of them.

Reality star and possible eater of souls, Kourtney Kardashian has revealed to the?uninterested?public that she’s having one of those babies which definitely doesn’t have a penis and which will one day be able to produce more?talentless?K Klan members. Or ‘ a girl’ if you like.

As there are already seventeen thousand women in the Kardashian family, there really is no need to burden the world with any more but selfish Kourtney seems to be happy about this and we don’t appear to have any say in the matter.

Kris Humphries To Expose Kardashian Klan

February 21st, 2012 By Mof Gimmers

It was incredibly shocking and downright upsetting to find out that Kim Kardashian did things just to make money and further her presence in the tabloids. We thought she was the real-deal until her 72 day marriage to Kris Humphries.

That moment was, without question, our generation’s JFK moment. Grief-stricken callers flooded our hastily set-up helpline and the clergy held crisis talks, thinking that they’d backed the wrong horse when they stood-by straight marriage in the face of all those long-standing gay relationships.

It was a troubling time. And it really is about to get worse as the innocent victim in all of this – poor, dumbass Kris ‘ball chucker’ Humphries – is about to blow the whole Kardashian Klan to pieces!