Kris - HecklerSpray

Big Brother: No More Kris. Good.

August 5th, 2012 By Stuart Heritage

Hooray! Kris and his ridiculous floppy clown wig have been evicted from Big Brother! We never have to type the word ‘Krogface’ ever again! Hooray!

Let’s not dwell on Kris’ Big Brother eviction because, well, it was boring and he was boring and hopefully he’ll go away now. Instead, let’s focus on the good news – Big Brother is finally introducing some more housemates this week! Brilliant! A bunch of people who the Big Brother producers deemed to be even less interesting than the current lot are going into the least-interesting Big Brother house ever! Boy oh boy, this is going to be… oh, what’s the word? DULL!

Anyway, here are the Big Brother housemates who have caught our eye this week…

Big Brother Eviction: Is This The End Of Krogface?

August 5th, 2012 By Stuart Heritage

One of the problems of this year’s Big Brother is that only two housemates have ever been nominated for eviction at a time.

Which would be OK, except that the public’s inexplicable love affair with Halfwit means that he’ll never get evicted. The evictions are a foregone conclusion right from the get-go. But things are different this week, oh things are different alright. Halfwit’s up for eviction, as ever, but so is Kris, Dogface, Charlie and Marcus. Big Brother is exciting again!

Well, maybe not ‘exciting’ per se, but, um, you know… oh, let’s just look at their chances of getting evicted, OK?

Big Brother: Sophia Out & Saffia Walks, So Hooray

August 5th, 2012 By Stuart Heritage

Big Brother can be odd. This time last week we were peeved because there was a Sophie, a Sophia and an Saffia in the house.

But now? Now Sophia has been evicted for being the world’s most awful munchkin, Saffia has walked – presumably to hunt for her long-lost personality – and Sophie’s been renamed Dogface. It almost makes us wish that all the other Big Brother housemates were called variations on the name Sophie too, because then they’d all leave at once and we’d be happy again.

Anyway, here are the awful sods who’ve caught our eye on Big Brother this week…

Big Brother: Beinazir Gone, Whoever Beinazir Is

August 5th, 2012 By Stuart Heritage

Big Brother started on Thursday night, right? Wrong.

In actually fact, if you want to be bewilderingly petty about it, Big Brother only started last night. Because last night, the final housemates were given official housemate status. True, that meant saying goodbye to Beinazir, but we’re sure she’ll go on to have a bright future. Those Subway signs don’t hold themselves up, you know.

So now we know who the final Big Brother housemates are, the ‘fun’ starts here. Let’s take a look at the Big Brother housemates who’ve caught our eye so far…

Big Brother: This Year’s Collection Of Awful Wazzocks

August 5th, 2012 By Stuart Heritage

First the facts. This is Big Brother’s tenth anniversary, and the fifth anniversary of us writing about it. We don’t know which is worse.

Nevertheless, the new series of Big Brother kicked off last night, which means that from now until let’s say the end of actual time itself, we’re going to have to watch hour after of hour of preening turdbaskets discussing nothing using a subnormal vocabulary. And we’ll be with you every ghastly step of the way.

But first we should probably introduce ourselves to the newest batch of Big Brother housemates, shouldn’t we? Fair enough, then…