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Kourtney Kardashian is probably headed for a libel-related lawsuit, with the Photoshop happy people at OK! magazine.
The reality star is accusing the publication of letting loose the airbrushing equivalent of the four horsemen of the apocalypse, all over her boat race.
Kourtney has been having a weeks-long love affair with the good folks at Life & Style magazine. For those of you who haven’t heard of them before, they would be the celebrity baby-crazies who aren’t People magazine.
Oh for God’s sake, Kourtney Kardashian. You’ve spoilt it. For generations, all Karadshian children have been given K names.
Kim, Kourtney, Khloe, Kris, Kendall. That’s how it works. They all have K names. It doesn’t matter if, like Kourtney or Khloe, you give them a C name and just change the first letter to K. It doesn’t even matter if, like Kendall, you name them after a cake instead of a person. It has to be a K name. Understand? It has to be a K name.
So what did you decide to call your new-born baby boy, Kourtney Kardashian? That’s right – you decided to call him Mason Dash Disick. That’s not a K name! The only K in there is the one at the end of his surname, and that doesn’t count! You’ve ruined it! We hate you, Kourtney Karadshian! WE HATE YOU!
This weekend thieves broke into Kourtney Kardashian’s home and stole jewellery worth around $80,000.
But they didn’t take her dignity. True, the only reason for that is because, as a star of an E! reality show and the sister of a woman who everyone has seen getting unenthusiastically diddled from behind on the internet, Kourtney Kardashian shed every last ounce of her dignity long, long ago. But that’s not our point. Our point is that Kourtney Kardashian was burgled this weekend.
So keep your eyes on eBay. As soon as you see a bunch of ugly necklaces that you wouldn’t even wear as a joke, we’ll have found our prime suspect.
