Katie Holmes may well be wealthy and successful, but that doesn’t stop the entire world pitying her. For starters, she’s in the unfortunate position of being married to Supreme Thetan, Tom Cruise AND she’s no doubt aware that everyone laughs at her because she’s one of those women who towers over her beau.
And so, to stop us from thinking that she’s a dead-eyed Scientologist with a head filled with quasi-religious gunk, she’s decided to act like One Of The Girls by talking about her knickers.
Because talking about your underpants in public isn’t peculiar at all is it? Nope. Not one bit. UNLESS YOU’RE SOME KIND OF GUSSET OBSESSED NUTTER THAT IS.
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Harry Potter stars aren’t exactly brilliant at concealing their modesty, are they?
First Daniel Radcliffe decided to get naked for a play about a mental kid who stabs horses in the eyes, and now Emma Watson‘s at it as well. To be fair, Emma Watson hasn’t waggled her penis around in front of a paying audience at the behest of a frightening imaginary horse-God, but she did show everyone her knickers getting out of a car at her 18th birthday party. Which is sort of the same thing.
Which is all well and good – getting your pants out for the paparazzi is as much a part of being a celebrity these days as complaining about the paparazzi taking pictures of your pants – but we have our concerns. If Emma Watson’s pantyflash gives Ron Weasley any ideas about public nudity, then we’re quite prepared to corkscrew our own eyes out now to protect our fragile minds.
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Finding someone to be the face of your underwear collection is a daunting task – if you follow your instincts and pick a ferociously sexy supermodel, you'll just end up intimidating your customers away.
So what's the other option? How about a three-foot-tall chav who looks a little bit like an Ewok? Of course – it couldn't be any more obvious, which is why Lily Allen has signed up to be the new face of lingerie company Agent Provocateur. While Lily Allen might be an unconventional choice to model underwear, we're sure that her Agent Provocateur campaign will go down a storm with real women who don't like to be patronised. And the blind. We hear the blind are going to be an especially key winter Agent Provocateur demographic.
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