Lassie, Babe, Old Yeller – not just films, but enduring movie classics. But why do we love them so?

It’s simple. It’s because animals are sexy. It’s not an exaggeration that all of us – even you, ladies – have had to stifle an erection during Free Willy or that Clint Eastwood film with the sexy monkey in it. There’s no point trying to deny it – it’s simple human nature. Animals are just sexy. They just are.

But which are the ten sexiest animals to have ever appeared in a movie? That’s harder to pinpoint. After a lot of office debate, we think we’ve finally whittled it down. Sure, there may be some movie animals not included in this list that you find sexually irresistible. Be sure to let us know the ones we’ve missed. Enjoy…

10 - King Kong from King Kong

We’ve got something big and hard for you to climb up, Mr Kong.

9 – Basil from Basil The Great Mouse Detective

You know what mystery we’d like you to solve, Basil? The mystery of what this hard thing in our pocket is.

8 – Black Beauty from Black Beauty

Now there’s one beauty we’d like to feed sugarlumps to. And by ‘sugarlumps’ we mean ‘Rohypnol’ so we can bone it in its sleep. Or we mean ‘our testicles’. To be honest, we haven’t really thought it through very well.

7 - Ed from Ed

A monkey that shares a bed with Matt LeBlanc. We bet he’s seen some things worth talking about. Like Matt LeBlanc’s genitals, possibly.

6 – Digby from Digby The Biggest Dog In The World

You know what they say about big dogs, don’t you? They’ve got giant anuses, that’s what.

5 - The moose from Salt Water Moose

We know what we’d like to do with those antlers! Draw some boobs on them or something. Sexy!

4 – Jaws from Jaws

Imagine the damage those teeth could do, eh lads? To your penis. While it was fellating you. Eh, lads?

3 – Flipper from Flipper

Blah blah blah, something about a blowhole.

2 - The evil monkeys from Congo

We read a survey once that said that the most common sexual fantasy in humans is to take part in an orgy with several vicious elderly megalomaniac temple-guarding gorillas. And who’d disagree with that? Meow!

1 – Roger Rabbit from Who Framed Roger Rabbit

Roger Rabbit. Not Jessica Rabbit. Roger Rabbit. That’s important to remember, because Jessica Rabbit is technically human. Imagine having sex with a human. Ugh, gross!

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There is nothing worse than watching a good film only for it to be ruined by a terrible ending.

It can be an appalling plot twist which makes you question why you bothered in the first place, an abrupt end that leaves more questions than answers , or, even worse, bloody Ewoks (More of that later). 

Well, hecklerspray has decided to rustle up the top 10 worst offenders into a handy, easy-to-carry-home format. Now, be warned, this list will definitely contain plot spoilers. Look, it would be impossible to talk about a film's ending and how bad it is without revealing what actually happened. But that doesn't mean we're the sort of people who enjoy spoiling endings.

Notoriously, some git once decided to spoil the ending of the The Usual Suspects for thousands of Londoners by drawing a big arrow on the identity parade poster for the film pointing at Kevin Spacey's head. Shit, now we've just done it. Also, apparently, the Portuguese translation for the horror classic Psycho was 'The Story Of The Man Who Killed His Mother'. D'oh! Done it again.

See, when we do it, it's by accident. we find ourselves constantly revealing the fact that Bruce Willis is a ghost in The Sixth Sense. Bollocks!

Look, here's the list…

10. King Kong (2005)
OK, we already knew what the ending was going to be, but it's the terrible Jack Black line at the end about 'beauty killing the beast' – or something like that – that just stinks. Come to think it, there's only one bit of the film that's really worth watching anyway. Plus it take about five hours for them to get to the sodding island. Rubbish!

9. The Breakfast Club (1985)
Everyone gets together, apart from the geek, who writes the report for all of them. Geeks everywhere weep.

8. The Village (2004)
The problem with M. Night Shyamalan now is that everyone expects a good twist at the end after the success of The Sixth Sense and Unbreakable. And when it is coming a mile away, it makes you wonder why you bothered in the first place.

7. Dead Man's Shoes (2004)
Dodgy plot twist did some damage but the real disappointment was it actually finished at all. Shane, please make a sequel!

6. Titanic (1997)
Bloody history teacher spoiled this for us.

5. No Country For Old Men (2007)
We really enjoyed this film until suddenly it ended. Did they run out of money or something? It's like when you used to write an essay for school, get halfway through it and then realise there is a good film on TV so you rush the end. What was on that was so good? Not bloody No Country For Old Men that's for sure.

4. War of the Worlds (2005)
Not so much for the fact that the aliens all catch colds and die within about three or four seconds of each other; more that, by chance, Tom Cruise stumbles across the one house left in America that hasn't been turned to rubble – and his entire family are in it, all spotless and happy. Terrible ending – a much better alternative would have been to get Tom Cruise stomped to death by a giant metal alien foot. In slow motion. For two hours. In real life.

3. Sunshine (2007)
A man comes out of nowhere and chases everyone around. It was like, 'shit, we've realised this is really boring, the sun isn't that interesting, so let's get a nutter on board'. No, it was just fine as it was and you fucking ruined it. Left us with sunstroke.

2. Lord of the Rings: Return of the King (2003)
Why not pick just one ending and go with that? For fuck's sake! So Sam and his hobbit bar wench have kids. Big deal. Meanwhile, we've all put our coats on in the cinema and we're praying that the credits come soon so we can have that slash we've been holding in for the last four hours.

1. Return of the Jedi (1983)
Even to this day we get angry about this. Okay, Return of the Jedi was the worst of the first three films (we don't even want to think about the next three). But it has some good moments. There's Princess Leia in a gold bikini, Jabba, and the bit where Boba Fett gets eaten by a giant anus. But the bloody Ewoks! What were they thinking? Actually, we know exactly what they were thinking. Money! What better way to sell merchandise to little girls than to come up with teddy bears? To make it worse they do a little dance at the end.