kimberley stewart - HecklerSpray

Harry Style’s recent lunch date with Kimberly Stewart was apparently just one big show for the cameras. How could anyone be so cynical as to think that the love between a floppy-haired 19 year old and a 33 year old mother-slash-socialite couldn’t be real??

Oh that’s right. Because he’s already ‘dated’ Taylor Swift to rack up more column inches, and once you’ve bitten that bullet, what else is there to do but head down the ol’ washed up socialite route? He’ll be on to Paris Hilton if we’re not careful, and that level of media-whoring may actually break the internet. Not to mention the very real danger that ?Paris could become ‘inspired’ by the One Direction singer and release a second album.?

Rod Stewart is one of the most unlikely sex symbols in history. Face it, he looks like a melted waxwork of Sarah Jessica Parker crossed with a dead leopard and a nylon bag filled with hammers. Yet somehow, women still want to have sex with him.

One sexual encounter produced a child called Kimberley who, rather than suffering the misfortune of looking like her father, is a carbon copy of Joely Richardson. It’s eerie.

And now, the Russian doll effect continues as she’s about to give birth to a child after Kimberley swapped fluids with ice-cream vendor, Benicio del Toro (who these days, looks like Tim Curry if he lived in a tea pot). This means, for the first time, Rod the Mod is to be a grandfather.

Pretending To Date Harry Styles Is The New Black

Rod Stewart’s Daughter, Kimberley, Is Having Benicio Del Toro’s Baby