For some reason, the UK has taken it upon themselves to hate every other nation in the world.

Mostly through headlines on grubby downmarket tabloids, we are always reminded to hate the Germans because of the war and the Scottish due to an old butchering rivalry, with the other country that deluded working class white boys high on cider and bad drugs seem to hate being France.

Now why should we hate the French? They’ve given us plenty of things to like – from wine, through Va-Va-Vaoom and even a strange love of horse burgers (it’s like a tough steak). Granted, the last choice is more for animal protestors to piss and moan over.

But no, getting drunk off a Frenchman’s grapes isn’t good enough; we have to assume they all eat baguettes, cycle everywhere on crap bikes and wear necklaces of garlic instead of buying stuff from H&M. Thank the lord for Telepopmusik then eh?