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Kim Kardashian

The hecklerspray Anti-Cool List

by Lauren Mullineaux

The NME has this year decided that the coolest people in the music industry are a bunch of no-names and people we hate with every fibre of our disgruntled being; they will never make it and, if they’ve already ‘made it’, then their last name is Gallagher and we have absolutely no opinion on that [...]

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Watch As It Slowly Dawns On Kris Humphries That His Marriage To Kim Kardashian Was A Sham!

by Mof Gimmers

The Kardashians are the closest thing America has to a Royal Family. Basically, they’re incredibly wealthy, do very little to earn it and are gigantically dislikeable yet still, we watch them when they’re on the TV, muttering swear words under our breath. At least Americans don’t keep Kim Kardashian in velvet femidoms with their taxes [...]

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Kim Kardashian’s Wedding WAS Staged According To Man

by Mof Gimmers

We all know that Kim Kardashian’s wedding was a big con. It’s as plain as the nose on her vaguely famous face. Still, we all let America have a moment with it because they wanted their own Tesco Value version of the Royal Wedding and no-one wanted to kill their buzz. And now, the entire [...]

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Kris Jenner Says Kim Kardashian’s Marriage Wasn’t Fake Before Returning To Her Moon-Base

by Michael Park

You all remember Kim Kardashian, right? She’s the business woman and entrepreneur who is also the star of her own reality television series with her whole family. She’s worth a bit of cash is Kim but, in keeping with the American dream, vacuous idiots can always have more. Is Kim Kardashian a vacuous idiot? IS [...]

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Weddings That Last Longer Than The Marriages Are Sooooo 2004

by hecklerspray staff

“Wanna get married?” “Alright (checks watch) but I can only do it for 72 hours.” “Okay, cool, best get a move on then.” This is obviously what Kris Humphries casually said to Kim Kardarshian over a pint down their local pub one night; both dressed in velour. So, with a list as long as a [...]

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Kim Kardashian Says Wedding Was Not A Stunt, Even Though It Clearly Was

by Mof Gimmers

Kim Kardashian is hurt because she has to defend herself from accusations that her wedding was a publicity stunt and she’s insisting that she would ‘never marry for a TV show’. Get that? NEVER. This is Kim Kardashian who has somehow spun gold from dung, via a leak of a sex tape which looked for [...]

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No-one Predicted On Numerous Occasions That Kim Kardashian’s Wedding Was A Sham: The Statements

by Mof Gimmers

Can you believe it? Kim Kardashian is getting a divorce after 72 days of being married to some 40ft freakshow called Kris Humphries. It’s shocking isn’t it? The most lucrative love story the world had ever seen, is finally over. Of course, it isn’t over. We’ve got a round of chat-show appearances to go yet, [...]

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Is Kim Kardashian’s Entirely Pointless Marriage Over Already? (Or: We Warned You About This Tripe)

by Mof Gimmers

What do you do when you’ve got no discernible talent? Well, if you’re lucky enough to be deemed attractive enough or, indeed, considered to be someone with a vague something to lose after a sex tape, you can forge something of a career out of very little. However, if you’re savvy enough, you’ll constantly remind [...]

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Kim Kardashian Vaguely Understands Human Gestation Period

by Mof Gimmers

We all fell to our knees and cried all the bones out of our bodies with tragic joy when Kim Kardashian married some stupid American sportsman we’ve never, ever heard of. We got told his name and forgot it immediately. He sweats for a living and says “110%” without any sense of irony or something. [...]

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Kim Kardashian And Kris Humphries Are Splitting Up With Yawning Inevitability

by Mof Gimmers

You may have looked at Kim Kardashian’s wedding to Kris Humphries and thought to yourself; ‘Cor. This is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. Real love can truly blossom, despite a history of leaked sex tapes and buttock implants.’ You may have thought that because you’re pretty dim. See, we told you ages ago [...]

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