Articles tagged with: Kim Kardashian
Kim Kardashian Helps Lindsay Lohan For No Reason Whatsoever
There's more to Kim Kardashian than being filmed repeatedly having it off a chap on the internet, you know. Not a lot more, admittedly. But let's not split hairs here - our point is that Kim Kardashian is happy to rush to the defence of any celebrity who acts in a gormless way and gets lambasted in the media for it. Kim Kardashian's dad was OJ Simpson's lawyer, did we mention that? Anyway, now Kim Kardashian has decided to defend Lindsay Lohan for her erratic behaviour. Which is good, because in these harsh economic times, people need a job for life.
There's more to Kim Kardashian than being filmed repeatedly having it off a chap on the internet, you know. Not a lot more, admittedly. But let's not split hairs here - our point is that Kim Kardashian is happy to rush to the defence of any celebrity who acts in a gormless way and gets lambasted in the media for it. Kim Kardashian's dad was OJ Simpson's lawyer, did we mention that? Anyway, now Kim Kardashian has decided to defend Lindsay Lohan for her erratic behaviour. Which is good, because in these harsh economic times, people need a job for life.
Kim Kardashian Gives Up Fur, Unless You Count Her Eyebrows
Kim Kardashian has never really gone in for this 'I'd rather go naked than wear fur' malarkey for two reasons. Firstly, Kim Kardashian is naked most of the time anyway, so what's the point? Also, Kim Kardashian loves fur. Fur is Kim Kardashian's only vice, apart from having graphic sex with men on the internet and being an unstoppably pointless flimbox. However, thanks to pressure from her family, Kim Kardashian looks like she's going to give up fur. That's great - she just needs to work on the other 462 things that make her so deeply objectionable and we're back on track.
Kim Kardashian has never really gone in for this 'I'd rather go naked than wear fur' malarkey for two reasons. Firstly, Kim Kardashian is naked most of the time anyway, so what's the point? Also, Kim Kardashian loves fur. Fur is Kim Kardashian's only vice, apart from having graphic sex with men on the internet and being an unstoppably pointless flimbox. However, thanks to pressure from her family, Kim Kardashian looks like she's going to give up fur. That's great - she just needs to work on the other 462 things that make her so deeply objectionable and we're back on track.
Fat Jessica Simpson Is Sexy, Says Wrong Kim Kardashian
Jessica Simpson sang These Boots Were Made For Walking, even though This Mouth Was Made For Gorging is probably more accurate. Or, you know, These Thighs Were Made For Crushing Cars. Or something. Basically, Jessica Simpson has got a little bit fat, and everyone's talking about it. Thanks to a couple of unflattering pictures taken last weekend, people now refer to Jessica Simpson as Heifer-ca Simpson, Jessica Not-Thinson or Jessica Simpsonofabitchyougotfat. Or maybe we made those up. We're not telling. Anyway, now Kim Kardashian has said that Jessica Simpson looks 'hot'. That's because she's insulated by fat, you insensitive bitch.
Jessica Simpson sang These Boots Were Made For Walking, even though This Mouth Was Made For Gorging is probably more accurate. Or, you know, These Thighs Were Made For Crushing Cars. Or something. Basically, Jessica Simpson has got a little bit fat, and everyone's talking about it. Thanks to a couple of unflattering pictures taken last weekend, people now refer to Jessica Simpson as Heifer-ca Simpson, Jessica Not-Thinson or Jessica Simpsonofabitchyougotfat. Or maybe we made those up. We're not telling. Anyway, now Kim Kardashian has said that Jessica Simpson looks 'hot'. That's because she's insulated by fat, you insensitive bitch.
Is Kim Kardashian Tottering Back Onto Dancing With The Stars?
When Kim Kardashian was voted off Dancing With The Stars last week, the message was clear - Kim, your sex tapes are OK, but your dancing is bum. However, there's a sliver of a chance that we haven't seen the last of Kim Kardashian on Dancing With The Stars yet, and it's all down to Misty May-Treanor's knackered Achilles tendon. Now that May-Treanor's out of Dancing With The Stars, Kim Kardashian is said to be awaiting her callback. And quite right - Kim's already been voted off Dancing With The Stars once, so her inevitably swift second elimination will just reaffirm how little America cares for her. But if she got a third call-up after that we'd worry - we get the feeling that only a marching band playing a tune called Nobody Likes You Kim and a firework display in the shape of a frown would make Kim Karadashian understand how people feel about her.
When Kim Kardashian was voted off Dancing With The Stars last week, the message was clear - Kim, your sex tapes are OK, but your dancing is bum. However, there's a sliver of a chance that we haven't seen the last of Kim Kardashian on Dancing With The Stars yet, and it's all down to Misty May-Treanor's knackered Achilles tendon. Now that May-Treanor's out of Dancing With The Stars, Kim Kardashian is said to be awaiting her callback. And quite right - Kim's already been voted off Dancing With The Stars once, so her inevitably swift second elimination will just reaffirm how little America cares for her. But if she got a third call-up after that we'd worry - we get the feeling that only a marching band playing a tune called Nobody Likes You Kim and a firework display in the shape of a frown would make Kim Karadashian understand how people feel about her.
Kim Kardashian In Boo Hoo Hoo Dancing With The Stars Failure
We're red-blooded men, so if there's one thing we like more than watching strangers have sex, it's watching strangers have sex and then cry. Therefore, we've decided to crown Kim Kardashian as our favourite girl in the whole wide world. Following that tape she made where she had loads of sex with that bloke, Kim Kardashian has apparently been sobbing her eyes out because she was voted off Dancing With The Stars this week. True, that means there's a full 18-month gap between Kim Kardashian having sex and Kim Kardashian crying, but we have to take what we can get. Anyway, the point is that Kim Kardashian was sad to be voted off Dancing With The Stars last night. But on the plus side, Kim can use this new free time to really try and work on closing that gap between the sex and the crying, maybe getting it down to a week or a good night's sleep.
We're red-blooded men, so if there's one thing we like more than watching strangers have sex, it's watching strangers have sex and then cry. Therefore, we've decided to crown Kim Kardashian as our favourite girl in the whole wide world. Following that tape she made where she had loads of sex with that bloke, Kim Kardashian has apparently been sobbing her eyes out because she was voted off Dancing With The Stars this week. True, that means there's a full 18-month gap between Kim Kardashian having sex and Kim Kardashian crying, but we have to take what we can get. Anyway, the point is that Kim Kardashian was sad to be voted off Dancing With The Stars last night. But on the plus side, Kim can use this new free time to really try and work on closing that gap between the sex and the crying, maybe getting it down to a week or a good night's sleep.
