Christians around the world will be marking the day that Jesus casually strolled out of his tomb and blew everyone’s minds, by frenziedly heaping great big handfuls of chocolate egg into their mouths, whilst enjoying Mel Gibson’s rather angry take on The Life of Brian.
Yes sir, it’s going to be a great few days.
Anyway, in honour of this chocolatey holiday, we thought it high time we paid our respects to some other historical figures – more specifically, famous people – who have also risen from the dead. Only in a slightly less literal sense. They weren’t actually dead. They were just jobless for a wee bit. Read More >>>
Just a hunch here, but we don’t think that 24 will come to an end soon. Or ever, now we come to mention it.
It can’t. Kiefer Sutherland can’t afford for it to stop. Because, if reports are to be believed, Kiefer Sutherland has been conned out of $896,000 by a huckster operating a fraudulent cattle-based scam. Apparently Kiefer was promised a tidy return for an investment into a Mexican cow-selling scheme that looks as if it didn’t ever exist.
Which means that 24 will probably continue for years, until it largely revolves around Jack Bauer bursting into rooms and then immediately forgetting what he went in there for. We’d watch it.
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7 – Who’s the best personality of 2009? You will genuinely not believe this – Popsugar
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In 24, Jack Bauer has managed to successfully battle presidential assassinations, nuclear bombs and wild cougars over the years – but latter seasons have left audiences less than gripped.
Season 7 sets to bring back what made the show unmissable – and it’s the best season so far.
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Getting headbutted by Kiefer Sutherland would be amazing – it’d be like Rembrandt painting you a picture.
Because Kiefer is a master headbutter. Sure, it’d be better if he tied you to a chair, put your feet in a bucket of water and electrocuted you with a cable torn from a standard lamp but that’s hardly practical on a day-to-day basis. No, Kiefer Sutherland’s headbutt is the perfect expression of form and content.
The Manhattan District Attorney’s office realises this, so it won’t be prosecuting Kiefer Sutherland for allegedly headbutting that guy back in May. What a heartwarming story. About headbutts.
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Kiefer Sutherland isn’t Jack Bauer. Hard to believe, we know, but they’re different in just about every way.
Jack Bauer, for instance, breaks the law in all sorts of spectacular ways to save America from terrorists then gets pardoned by the president afterwards. Kiefer Sutherland, on the other hand, commits petty crimes to save 1980s actresses then gets charged afterwards.
Kiefer Sutherland has been charged with minor assault following his alleged headbutting incident this week. Sad – we wanted to see how far he’d take this hobby. Maybe he’d end up shoplifting a Chunky Kit Kat for Molly Ringwald or something.
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As the star of 24, Kiefer Sutherland knows a bit about the law. For instance, it’s completely OK to suffocate your brother to death.
Also, the good guys are always bad, and the bad guys are always good. And never trust the brown ones. So when Kiefer Sutherland allegedly headbutted Jack McCollough on Tuesday, it made him a bad guy. But then again, Kiefer Sutherland was protecting the honour of Brooke Shields – so he’s a good guy.
Then again, he’ll probably spend a few more months in jail for it. So he’s bad. Or good. Oh, let’s just settle on depressing.
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As anyone who has ever seen 24, Lost Boys or his mugshot already knows – Kiefer Sutherland is tougher than a t-rex’s calcified colon.
Sure, he likes talking about little baby ponies a little more that your typical hero, and he refers to his favourite shirt as the ‘one covered in speckled rainbow,’ but aside from that he has got what it takes to save people’s lives. On TV.
Also sometimes he awkwardly intervenes on behalf of distressed damsels in real life too. For instance, he recently came to the aide of an ‘assaulted’ Brooke Shields.
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Christians around the world will be marking the day that Jesus casually strolled out of his tomb and blew everyone’s minds, by frenziedly heaping great big handfuls of chocolate egg into their mouths, whilst enjoying Mel Gibson’s rather angry take on The Life of Brian.
