We’re sad to report that Chris Brown will no longer be taking part in the Nickelodeon Kids’ Choice Awards.

Alright, more relieved than sad. If Chris Brown can allegedly punch Rihanna because she threw some car keys out a window, then God knows what’d happen if Justin Timberlake squirted him in the face with slime. We imagine it’d involve a hacksaw, a rolled-up carpet and a shallow grave.

Oddly, Chris Brown withdrew his own Kids’ Choice nominations – either due to shame or to tactically strengthen his position ahead of this year’s Punchies, the alleged domestic abusers’ Oscars. We don’t know.