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Chloë Sevigny Nude – See the Coolest Girl Ever Naked (98 PICS)

Chloë Sevigny is the American actress known for being the quintessential hipster IT girl of the late 90’s. An overly obsessed journalist from The New Yorker once called her the “coolest girl in the world”.

She had gotten her start in modeling, but also excelled as an actress for controversial independent films. Her boyfriend had invited her to act in his film Kids, for which she had won the Independent Spirit Award (I know, we haven’t heard of this award either). She also has a great part as a secretary in American Psycho.

Nicole Kidman Stalked By Drunk Wizard

April 26th, 2011 By Joanna Bolouri

Here at hecklerspray, we take stalking very seriously indeed. So seriously in fact, we spend all of our bingo winnings on really hi-tech night vision goggles making sure all those celebrities are safe from harm while undressing in front of their bedroom windows at night.

However, in the days before Tom Cruise was the only slightly sinister man to follow Nicole Kidman around, she has revealed that she was once stalked as a teenager.

This wouldn’t have happened on our watch.

Nicole Kidman Wants More Children But Certainly Isn’t Prepared To Actually Squeeze Them Out

February 3rd, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Remember Nicole Kidman from BMX Bandits and that Robbie Williams song? Well, she’s a new mother and she’s positively glowing about it. That’s because she’s had her Ready Brek, not because she’s ever been pregnant.

The Scientology escapist announced the birth of her and husband Keith Urban’s daughter called? Faith who was born via someone else who Kidman didn’t care about them getting their vagina’s stretched beyond recognition.

And now, she wants another baby. Well she would, wouldn’t she? It’s a piece of piss when all you have to do is sit around with your arms expectantly wide, waiting for someone else to fire it into your embrace.

Nicole Kidman Has A Baby And We’re Supposed To Do Somersaults In Glee About The Whole Stupid Thing

January 18th, 2011 By Mof Gimmers

Nicole Kidman isn’t famous for much, but we can almost certainly all agree that her most famous roles were in BMX Bandits and that perfume advert where she garbled “I’m a daaaahncer! I love to dahnce!” with that one-night stand who wore a vest and had greasy hair. The hussy.

Anyway, in real life, she’s The Woman Who Escaped The Thetans and now, someone who has brought another future disappointment into the world aka a baby human being.

Kidman and her country warbling husband, Keith Urban, have announced that they are now parents of a new baby daughter. A daughter that was born with a surrogate for some reason. We can’t be bothered to find out why, so we’ll just assume that it is down to laziness.

Nicole Kidman Adopted Some Kids. With Some Bloke. Maybe. Who Even Remembers?

December 22nd, 2010 By Amy Grindhouse

Nicole Kidman is a mother – something that’s only really brought up when she’s on the promotional trail. We’re not parents of anyone, mind you. We’re only just competent enough to look after the hecklerspray house gerbil, and we don’t think it’s wise to make a leap to a house baby kept in the gerbil’s cage and fed from the same bowl with ‘Killer’ emblazoned in crayon.

All that considered, being the parents of precisely no one, we’re not really in a position to judge. We are, however, in a position to point and yell obscenities at our screens while licking melted chocolate buttons from our chubby little fingers.

So that’s what we’re going to do.

Has Angelina Jolie Ever Told You That Her Kids Love Kung Fu Panda?

March 25th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

As a mother, Angelina Jolie knows what’s important for a child – a gormless name and a forced appreciation of her films, mainly.

Well, OK, not all of her films. Not yet, anyway – although we do hear that Angelina Jolie plans to use her love scene with Antonio Banderas from Original Sin as a sexually-confusing substitute for her childrens’ birds and bees talk – just Kung Fu Panda.

To promote the DVD release of Kung Fu Panda, Angelina Jolie has once again decided to mine the limitless marketing resource that is her children, telling anyone who’ll listen that they just love the movie. Luckily for Angelina Jolie, she didn’t try this trick with A Mighty Heart – apparently Pax Thien found it ‘ponderous’, with Shiloh Nouvel dubbing it ‘transparent award-bait at best’.

Angelina Jolie Will Marry Brad Pitt Just To Shut The Kids Up

March 24th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie’s attitude to marriage is simple – only gay marriage or Jennifer Aniston being really narked off will allow it.

Or at least that’s what we thought. Now, as part of her confusing ‘go against everything she’s ever said, done or thought’ promotion for The Changeling, Angelina Jolie has admitted that she will inevitably get married to Brad Pitt, but only to stop her children from pestering them for a wedding.

It just goes to show how persuasive a small army of multinational children can be. If they can make Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie get married, just think what else the Jolie-Pitt kids could achieve if they harnessed their pester power properly. They could even aim for the impossible. You know what we mean – if they all work in unison, they could convince Angelina Jolie to make a film that doesn’t stink like a corpseful of turds for once.

Angelina Jolie Demands More Children! Immediately!

March 24th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

Angelina Jolie already has enough kids for a fair-to-middling laser tag team, but that’s hardly enough – look, you know what’s coming.

Despite have six of the little sods running around already, Angelina Jolie has decided that she’s going to go on the hunt for more. During an interview on the Today show, Angelina Jolie was asked if she’s going to adopt any more children, and she responded by nodding like a wizened old bearded monk who lives on top of a mountain.

Adopting a seventh child is all well and good, but Angelina Jolie has obviously forgotten one important point – having already adopted children from Cambodia, Ethiopia and Vietnam, the most impoverished place left to her is the Isle Of Wight. And, urgh, who’d want a baby from the Isle Of Wight?

Brace Yourself, World: Paris Hilton Wants Babies

March 24th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

The Simple Life all but proved that Paris Hilton will be a bad mother – she can’t even photocopy, so what’s stopping her from dropping a baby down the toilet?

However, little things like common sense and concern for the future of humanity don’t matter to Paris Hilton, which is why she’s told People that she’s desperate to have children.

Don’t be too alarmed by Paris Hilton’s claims, though – if she does have a baby it’ll be an interesting genetic experiment – in four short generations the Hilton family has gone from billionaire hotel chain founder to Paris Hilton, so if our charts are right the fifth generation will mostly resemble the mutant teleported dog from the beginning of The Fly 2.

Stop Everything Now: Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie Return To USA

March 24th, 2009 By Stuart Heritage

Hey, everyone! Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have arrived in America for the first time since the birth of their twins!

This is very important news, and we’ll tell you why soon. Anyway, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie arrived in New York for the first time since the birth of their last children so that Angelina can promote her new movie The Changeling.

We said we’d tell you why it was so important that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie were returning to America, didn’t we? Well, alright, we will – it’s important because, um, well, Brad Pitt is, um… and Angelina sort of… no. We’ve got nothing. Literally nothing. Maybe they left the gas on or something. We genuinely couldn’t care less.