Kevin Smith and Jason Mewes made millions of stoners chuckle nacho crumbs into their bellybuttons are their alter-egos Jay and Silent Bob. Littered with pop-culture and sci-fi references, they were always going to achieve cult-herodom.
And now, you’ll get to slap your glazed eyeballs on them in the flesh as they’ve announced a tour of the UK this February.
They’ll be performing the successful comedy podcast Jay and Silent Bob Get Old right before your very eyes. It’ll be like Charlie Sheen’s tour, only good.
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There’s been a pointless poll about films that are regarded to be guilty pleasures. Topping the list is Striptease, the ’96 Demi Moore film where she shows her terrifying boobs to the world while they all laugh. And of course, secretly enjoy it.
Swordfish, House Of Wax and Carry On Cleo also made the cut (more about all that jazz here). It’s outrageous that Showgirls didn’t top the poll as it is quite clearly one of the finest films ever made.
However, this notion of ‘guilty pleasure’ doesn’t sit well here. If you like something, you like it. Big deal. There’s no accounting for anyone’s taste. Anyone who tells you otherwise is a massive jerk. We’re more concerned about Guilty Displeasures, namely, the things that seem to have been canonised and everyone loves… but really, we just don’t get it. Read More >>>
With Sly Stallone’s bizarre announcement that he’d like Bruce Willis to appear as a villain in The Expendables 2 (because apparently flogging a dead horse once just isn’t enough) we here at Hecklerspray decided to man up and have ourselves a good, ol’ fashioned Die Hard marathon, to re-acquaint ourselves with one of our favourite action movie icons.
But something troubled us deeply, Die Hard, Die Hard 2: Die Harder, Die Hard 3: Die Hard With a Vengeance and Die Hard 4.0: Life Free or Die Hard, the scenes seemed to be a lot more ridiculous than we remembered. Happily this meant that we can bring you the top 10 most ridiculous scenes from the Die Hard series.
Be prepared for explosions, gravity defying stunts and an old man who’s harder than the nails in his coffin in this summer’s most action packed, critically acclaimed and hotly anticipated Hecklerspray top 10!
Noel Clarke is a busy man these days. You’ll occasionally find him promoting reading for young ruffians, fronting anti-piracy campaigns and bothering that Dr. Who fellow. Oh, he also makes the odd film now and again.
He also had the misfortune to bump into Hecklerspray recently. So we tied him down and forced him to talk about dick journos, his next four films and that fat bloke who made Clerks. Oh, and a little film called 4,3,2,1.
Read the interview after the jump…
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Kevin Smith’s tale of being kicked off a flight for being too fat might end up starting another civil war.
It’s so divisive. Overweight people everywhere have already taken to the internet to push Kevin Smith’s message and fight against the airline industry’s prejudice against fat people. Next they’ll take to the streets – you know, so long as their carers are around to roll them out of bed and they don’t have to go anywhere that’s too far away from their fridge or anything.
But is Kevin Smith done with railing against Southwestern Airlines? Not a chance – he’s still packing his Twitter feed with endless complaints about his treatment at the hands of the company. He’s a consumer champion, kind of like Anne Robinson if she was morbidly obese and never shut up about things that nobody cares about.
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Different stars promote their films in different ways. Jennifer Aniston hooks up with co-stars, Tom Cruise goes weird.
And then there’s Kevin Smith. Whenever Kevin Smith has a film out, he likes to draw attention to it by reminding the world how dangerously overweight he is. Just before Zack And Miri Make A Porno was released, Kevin Smith sat on a toilet and shattered it under his vast mass. And now that Cop Out is about to be released, Kevin Smith has been thrown off a plane by an airline because his gigantic belly contravened its safety regulations.
Seriously, we can’t wait for Kevin Smith’s next film to come out. We hear he’s going to promote it by suffocating an entire African village to death with his armpits, belly button and colossal buttocks. So that’s something to look forward to.
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Observers of Kevin Smith might have noticed a change in his shape lately, in that he’s gone from ‘tubby’ to ‘perfectly spherical’.
Don’t think this hasn’t gone unnoticed, though – Kevin Smith himself is quite aware that he’s developing a bit of weight problem. It’s something he picked up on in the traditional way, by breaking a toilet under the weight of his own body.
According to an anecdote that he decided to tell a journalist of his own free will, Kevin Smith recently sat on a toilet only for it to fall away from the wall because of his enormous mass. At least we think Kevin Smith’s weight broke the toilet. It could have also been that Kevin Smith’s urine is high-pressured and grainy and essentially works like a manky-smelling water jet cutter. We simply don’t know.
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Kevin Smith might have inspired hundreds of indie movies about nothing with lots of pointless talking in them, but he just can’t get any love.
For example, the movie that Kevin Smith wants to make after his new flick Zack And Miri Make A Porno is a horror called Red State. Trouble is, Smith says no studio will touch Red State because it’s bleak and dark and utterly noncommercial.
A Kevin Smith film that’s bleak and dark and noncommercial? Is Kevin Smith remaking Jersey Girl already? Right? Right? Because, you know, Jersey Girl was bleak, and it was dark, and, um… yeah. Would someone mind calling us a taxi, please?
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