Cars are dangerous things as far as Britney Spears is concerned - if she's not getting out of them vagina-first in front of every single camera on earth, then she's driving around erratically in them with her kids inside.

And while the former goes woefully unpunished, the latter at least has seen Britney Spears get banned from driving a car while her children are onboard. A judge hit Britney Spears with the ban on Friday after video emerged of her running a red light on a busy Los Angeles interchange, but Britney is damned if she's going to take this news sitting down - we've heard that she's ready to exploit the wide open 'car-only' loophole in the ban by transporting her two sons around town in a succession of tanks, saddled grizzly bears, fireballs and robot pterodactyls made from shards of broken syringe-glass from now on.

Britney Spears might make you want to kill yourself every time she opens her mouth to sing, but at least she's not directly endangering anyone's life - not like when she gets behind the wheel of a car.

Although it's becoming increasingly clear that Britney Spears is even worse at driving than she is at remembering where her knicker drawer is, the poor girl doesn't seem to be learning at all. That much is clear from the video footage that's been released of Britney Spears running a red light in her car in Los Angeles. With her children as passengers. And her mobile phone about an inch away from her face. And a bunch of panicking paparazzi screaming "Red light! Red light!" at her. And now that Kevin Federline has got wind of this video, it means that there's going to be yet another Britney Spears court hearing set for the middle of the week. Fun.

Hey kids, don't bother trying hard at school; it turns out that the quickest way to financial success is to knock up a borderline-deluded superstar a couple of times - just ask Kevin Federline.

As we've told you every day since pretty much the dawn of man, Kevin Federline and Britney Spears are currently fighting for custody of their two children. If she didn't act so crazy, Britney would have been the obvious choice for custody because a) she's the mother, b) the father is Kevin Federline, a man who looks like he still needs to use children's safety scissors and c) she's loaded. Even though she does keep acting crazy, though, the last point still stands true. But if Britney Spears wanted to exploit that by riding the custody battle out until Kevin Federline runs out of money and gives up, she's in for a shock - Britney Spears has been ordered to pay for Kevin Federline's legal bills as well as her own.

One of the downsides to Britney Spears' custody battle is the obvious mental and emotional turmoil it puts her through, but one of the upsides is that we get to see exactly what Britney Spears spends her money on, so really it all evens out.

Thanks to court papers released yesterday, the world at large can now see exactly where Britney Spears' money goes. While it's no surprise that Britney Spears earns more in a month than Kevin Federline does in a year, it might come as a bit more of a shock to see that Britney Spears carefully budgets for everything. For example, Britney Spears has mortgages and charitable obligations, which is why she only spends $102,000 a month on 'entertainment, gifts and vacations.' If only everyone had the financial prudence of Britney Spears, surely the world would be a far better place.