Watch out kids, mum?s gone to Iceland. To see if you can snort ice, that is.

After all, Kerry Katona?s had all of the good stuff, and we're reduced to sniffing up crushed ice, cat litter and chopped up Junior Disprol through our tenners instead.

We at hecklerspray want to do all we can to get as mullered as La Katona ? after all, getting as high as a kite (made out of shell suit material obviously) is doing her the world of good. Just think, Kerry used to be married to the one out of Westlife who looked like the good-looking one out of Pigs in Space. She also used to star on pre-menopausal yakshow Loose Women, where you get paid to talk about picking your kids up from school. Now she's hitched to Mark Croft, an ahem independent businessman who ? no offence, dude ? makes the Yardies look like fwuffy old cuddlebags. And that TV career? Gone bye bye!