Articles tagged with: Kenny Chesney
ACM Entertainer Award Won By… A Woman? Mercy!
Every year the ACM awards - like the Grammys but more buck-toothed and NASCAR-fixated - end up the same way. Kenny Chesney wins. Every year - no matter how obviously unentertaining he's been - Kenny Chesney wins the ACM Entertainer Of The Year award, even though he basically has a hat instead of an actual personality. But this year the ACM Entertainer Of The Year award went to Carrie Underwood, who is female. Carrie Underwood's win shocked the country music community, with some members worried that if women can win gender-unspecific ACM awards then next they'll be allowed to vote or drive or something.
Every year the ACM awards - like the Grammys but more buck-toothed and NASCAR-fixated - end up the same way. Kenny Chesney wins. Every year - no matter how obviously unentertaining he's been - Kenny Chesney wins the ACM Entertainer Of The Year award, even though he basically has a hat instead of an actual personality. But this year the ACM Entertainer Of The Year award went to Carrie Underwood, who is female. Carrie Underwood's win shocked the country music community, with some members worried that if women can win gender-unspecific ACM awards then next they'll be allowed to vote or drive or something.
Kenny Chesney is The Most Entertaining Cowboy In History
You know what we like in an entertainer? The wild hope that wearing a big hat will cover for an overwhelming lack of charisma. And we're not the only ones, because Kenny Chesney - a man with a big hat and hardly any charisma - has just won the CMA Entertainer Of The Year award for the fourth time in five years, making him officially the most entertaining country singer ever born. Except for Garth Brooks. He's equally entertaining. This must count as one of Kenny Chesney's proudest moments. Now he can look back on all the other country singers of the past and know he's more entertaining than them. He's more entertaining than Billy Shooter, Old Jeb Clovercleb, Whistlin' Jimmy McFormaldahide, Redeyes O'Murderer and even, in a controversial twist, Barefoot Bobby And The Pregnant Mistakes. Congratulations, Kenny Chesney. You earnt this.
You know what we like in an entertainer? The wild hope that wearing a big hat will cover for an overwhelming lack of charisma. And we're not the only ones, because Kenny Chesney - a man with a big hat and hardly any charisma - has just won the CMA Entertainer Of The Year award for the fourth time in five years, making him officially the most entertaining country singer ever born. Except for Garth Brooks. He's equally entertaining. This must count as one of Kenny Chesney's proudest moments. Now he can look back on all the other country singers of the past and know he's more entertaining than them. He's more entertaining than Billy Shooter, Old Jeb Clovercleb, Whistlin' Jimmy McFormaldahide, Redeyes O'Murderer and even, in a controversial twist, Barefoot Bobby And The Pregnant Mistakes. Congratulations, Kenny Chesney. You earnt this.
Kenny Chesney Wins Award, Is Kind Of A Turd About It
One thing that can be counted on is that whenever we rag on Kenny Chesney, his fans always loudly defend him. So, you know, it's just a shame that Kenny Chesney more or less thinks that all his fans are dicks. That's what he's implied, anyway - yesterday Kenny Chesney won the ACM Entertainer Of The Year award for the fourth straight year running but, because the winner was chosen by fans rather than a faceless group of industry insiders, he's got all stroppy for it and claimed that it doesn't count as much any more. Oh Kenny, when will you learn that it's never smart to criticise your fans, especially when they all own shotguns and are the biological result of institutionalised pan-generational incest.
One thing that can be counted on is that whenever we rag on Kenny Chesney, his fans always loudly defend him. So, you know, it's just a shame that Kenny Chesney more or less thinks that all his fans are dicks. That's what he's implied, anyway - yesterday Kenny Chesney won the ACM Entertainer Of The Year award for the fourth straight year running but, because the winner was chosen by fans rather than a faceless group of industry insiders, he's got all stroppy for it and claimed that it doesn't count as much any more. Oh Kenny, when will you learn that it's never smart to criticise your fans, especially when they all own shotguns and are the biological result of institutionalised pan-generational incest.
Slow-Witted Cowboys Still Love Kenny Chesney
The best thing about the end of movie awards season isn't that we have to listen to actors bleat about how important they are - although that helps - but that cowboys awards season can get going.
And cowboy awards season has started in earnest now that the nominations for this year's Academy of Country Music awards have been announced.
It looks like it'll be a good year for Kenny Chesney, who's scored double the ACM nominations than any of his competitors. That's probably life-changing news if you follow things like this, so now you can go back to whistling through your teeth and standing on your porch shooting trespassers with your shotgun in peace again.
