Articles tagged with: Kelly Osbourne
Dancing With The Stars Loses Irvin and Dacascos. Oh Well.
Last night, Michael Irvin and Mark Dacascos were eliminated from Dancing With The Stars. We'll just give you a minute to Google Michael Irvin and Mark Dacascos so you know who they are, and then we'll continue. Ready? OK, Michael Irvin and Mark Dacascos, who are... no, wait, it's gone. We'll just Google their names again. Hang on. Oh, one's an American footballer and the other's the Iron Chef guy. Anyway, the footballer and the Iron Chef guy - whose names we have already forgotten - were kicked off Dancing With The Stars last night. That's basically the gist, more or less.
Last night, Michael Irvin and Mark Dacascos were eliminated from Dancing With The Stars. We'll just give you a minute to Google Michael Irvin and Mark Dacascos so you know who they are, and then we'll continue. Ready? OK, Michael Irvin and Mark Dacascos, who are... no, wait, it's gone. We'll just Google their names again. Hang on. Oh, one's an American footballer and the other's the Iron Chef guy. Anyway, the footballer and the Iron Chef guy - whose names we have already forgotten - were kicked off Dancing With The Stars last night. That's basically the gist, more or less.
Dancing With The Stars Ejects Natalie Coughlin, Whoever She Is
Oh Natalie Coughlin, we hardly knew you. No, literally, we're still not completely sure who you are. And now you're gone. Last night Natalie Coughlin became the latest celebrity to be voted off Dancing With The Stars, after a nail-biting dance-off with Aaron Carter. So in many ways she's lucky that she only went home, because we've always been of the understanding that anybody who is worse than Aaron Carter at anything at all should be smacked on the head and thrown to the lions. In other Dancing With The Stars news, Kelly Osbourne hasn't been eliminated yet. We know! Weird!
Oh Natalie Coughlin, we hardly knew you. No, literally, we're still not completely sure who you are. And now you're gone. Last night Natalie Coughlin became the latest celebrity to be voted off Dancing With The Stars, after a nail-biting dance-off with Aaron Carter. So in many ways she's lucky that she only went home, because we've always been of the understanding that anybody who is worse than Aaron Carter at anything at all should be smacked on the head and thrown to the lions. In other Dancing With The Stars news, Kelly Osbourne hasn't been eliminated yet. We know! Weird!
Dancing With The Stars Loses Chuck Liddell, World Somehow Gets Over It
Dancing With The Stars is obviously getting tougher - it can afford to lose Chuck Liddell this early. Chuck Liddell was ace. Don't believe us? Fine, show us a better Dancing With The Stars contestant who rolls around inside a cage in his pants for a living and whose surname sounds a little bit like the name of a German discount supermarket. What's that? You can't? We rest our case. Still, it doesn't matter. Chuck Liddell has been eliminated from Dancing With The Stars anyway. It's bittersweet news - it's sad because Chuck Liddell had so much potential, but at least Dancing With The Stars is one week closer to ending now.
Dancing With The Stars is obviously getting tougher - it can afford to lose Chuck Liddell this early. Chuck Liddell was ace. Don't believe us? Fine, show us a better Dancing With The Stars contestant who rolls around inside a cage in his pants for a living and whose surname sounds a little bit like the name of a German discount supermarket. What's that? You can't? We rest our case. Still, it doesn't matter. Chuck Liddell has been eliminated from Dancing With The Stars anyway. It's bittersweet news - it's sad because Chuck Liddell had so much potential, but at least Dancing With The Stars is one week closer to ending now.
Dancing With The Stars: Everyone’s Out, More Or Less
Celebrities leave Dancing With The Stars for many reasons - because they're injured, because they're crap dancers. And then there's Tom DeLay. Tom DeLay is both. However, on last night's Dancing With The Stars Tom DeLay was offed by injury, probably right before he could be offed by the fact that he dances like a peculiarly asthmatic sack that's been filled with a bunch of lethargic kittens. But Tom DeLay wasn't the only celebrity to leave Dancing With The Stars last night. Debi Mazar was also eliminated, and once we've looked up her name on Wikipedia we'll tell you exactly who she is.
Celebrities leave Dancing With The Stars for many reasons - because they're injured, because they're crap dancers. And then there's Tom DeLay. Tom DeLay is both. However, on last night's Dancing With The Stars Tom DeLay was offed by injury, probably right before he could be offed by the fact that he dances like a peculiarly asthmatic sack that's been filled with a bunch of lethargic kittens. But Tom DeLay wasn't the only celebrity to leave Dancing With The Stars last night. Debi Mazar was also eliminated, and once we've looked up her name on Wikipedia we'll tell you exactly who she is.
Dancing With The Stars: Kelly Osbourne Ballses Everything Up
Getting Kelly Osbourne on Dancing With The Stars this year was nothing short of a masterstroke. We mean that. Someone wins whatever happens. If Kelly Osbourne goes on to win Dancing With The Stars, it'll be an epic display of triumph over adversity. And if Kelly Osbourne does terribly at Dancing With The Stars, clattering around the dancefloor week after week like some kind of epileptic Weeble until the judges do the decent thing and shoot her like a knackered racehorse, then it'll be exactly what everyone expected. Last night Kelly Osbourne did the latter. Which works out best for us, really.
Getting Kelly Osbourne on Dancing With The Stars this year was nothing short of a masterstroke. We mean that. Someone wins whatever happens. If Kelly Osbourne goes on to win Dancing With The Stars, it'll be an epic display of triumph over adversity. And if Kelly Osbourne does terribly at Dancing With The Stars, clattering around the dancefloor week after week like some kind of epileptic Weeble until the judges do the decent thing and shoot her like a knackered racehorse, then it'll be exactly what everyone expected. Last night Kelly Osbourne did the latter. Which works out best for us, really.
Kelly Osbourne On ‘Dancing With The Stars More Famous Than Her’
Dancing With The Stars is easily the best show on television. No, wait, not best - we meant least accurately titled. It's true. None of the words correlate. For one, the Dancing With The Stars contestants aren't actually stars, let alone the definitive star collection that the titular use of the word 'The' suggests. Second, their graceless plodding technically isn't dancing. Third, we're not dancing with anyone - we're just watching. Really it should be called Looking At Some People You Vaguely Recognise Clump Around A Bit. Anyway, Dancing With The Stars is back. Who's in it? Find out after the jump.
Dancing With The Stars is easily the best show on television. No, wait, not best - we meant least accurately titled. It's true. None of the words correlate. For one, the Dancing With The Stars contestants aren't actually stars, let alone the definitive star collection that the titular use of the word 'The' suggests. Second, their graceless plodding technically isn't dancing. Third, we're not dancing with anyone - we're just watching. Really it should be called Looking At Some People You Vaguely Recognise Clump Around A Bit. Anyway, Dancing With The Stars is back. Who's in it? Find out after the jump.
Kelly Osbourne Thumps Off To Rehab
An arrest and a trip to rehab within the same week? Hold the phone, Lindsay Lohan's packed the weight on. Wait, what? This isn't a story about Lindsay Lohan? This is actually a story about Kelly Osbourne? But the arrest-inspired rehab visit is Lindsay Lohan's idea! Why is Kelly Osbourne trying to copy Lindsay Lohan so much? What else of Lindsay's is Kelly going to copy? Her halfhearted music career? Good christ, she's even done that! What's wrong with the girl? Basically, Kelly Osbourne has checked into rehab for the next 30 days. We didn't know pastry could be so addictive.
An arrest and a trip to rehab within the same week? Hold the phone, Lindsay Lohan's packed the weight on. Wait, what? This isn't a story about Lindsay Lohan? This is actually a story about Kelly Osbourne? But the arrest-inspired rehab visit is Lindsay Lohan's idea! Why is Kelly Osbourne trying to copy Lindsay Lohan so much? What else of Lindsay's is Kelly going to copy? Her halfhearted music career? Good christ, she's even done that! What's wrong with the girl? Basically, Kelly Osbourne has checked into rehab for the next 30 days. We didn't know pastry could be so addictive.
Kelly Osbourne Arrested On A Charge Of Violent Fisticuffs
Lesson of the day: never, ever, go up to an Osbourne lady and start dissing their men, because they are lunatics. Oh, alright, alleged lunatics. Just a couple of weeks after Sharon Osbourne apparently attacked a bikini model after hearing a slur about Ozzy, Kelly Osbourne has been arrested for assault after allegedly slapping a journalist who insinuated that her boyfriend didn't know what an earthquake was. If you ask us, Jack Osbourne must be feeling left out. Maybe if we make up a good enough lie we'll be able to goad him into punching a nun unconscious or something.
Lesson of the day: never, ever, go up to an Osbourne lady and start dissing their men, because they are lunatics. Oh, alright, alleged lunatics. Just a couple of weeks after Sharon Osbourne apparently attacked a bikini model after hearing a slur about Ozzy, Kelly Osbourne has been arrested for assault after allegedly slapping a journalist who insinuated that her boyfriend didn't know what an earthquake was. If you ask us, Jack Osbourne must be feeling left out. Maybe if we make up a good enough lie we'll be able to goad him into punching a nun unconscious or something.
