Articles tagged with: Kelly Osbourne
Dancing With The Stars: Kelly Osbourne Bizarrely Makes The Final
So you're a Dancing With The Stars voter. Your actions will decide who makes the Dancing With The Stars final. You have four remaining dancers. One is Mya, perhaps the best celebrity dancer in the show's history. One is Donny Osmond, the beloved cultural icon. One is Joanna Krupa, a smouldering bikini model. And one is Kelly Osbourne, who is Kelly Osbourne. You have to eliminate one dancer, effectively stopping them from wriggling around a studio in a barely-there scrap of sequinned spandex the following week. And you choose to eliminate Joanna Krupa. Dancing With The Stars voters, you confuse us sometimes.
So you're a Dancing With The Stars voter. Your actions will decide who makes the Dancing With The Stars final. You have four remaining dancers. One is Mya, perhaps the best celebrity dancer in the show's history. One is Donny Osmond, the beloved cultural icon. One is Joanna Krupa, a smouldering bikini model. And one is Kelly Osbourne, who is Kelly Osbourne. You have to eliminate one dancer, effectively stopping them from wriggling around a studio in a barely-there scrap of sequinned spandex the following week. And you choose to eliminate Joanna Krupa. Dancing With The Stars voters, you confuse us sometimes.
Dancing With The Stars Ejects Aaron Carter, Thank God
Admit it - for a moment there you were worried that Aaron Carter was going to win Dancing With The Stars. It's OK, we were worried too. Just the thought of renewed public validation of Aaron Carter filled us with absolute dread. What if he was allowed to bring back his reality TV show House Of Carters? What if he got to re-release his album Aaron's Party (Come Get It)? What if he was driven so berserk by renewed fame that he started legally emancipating his parents again? Well, relax. Aaron Carter was kicked off Dancing With The Stars last night. We're in the clear.
Admit it - for a moment there you were worried that Aaron Carter was going to win Dancing With The Stars. It's OK, we were worried too. Just the thought of renewed public validation of Aaron Carter filled us with absolute dread. What if he was allowed to bring back his reality TV show House Of Carters? What if he got to re-release his album Aaron's Party (Come Get It)? What if he was driven so berserk by renewed fame that he started legally emancipating his parents again? Well, relax. Aaron Carter was kicked off Dancing With The Stars last night. We're in the clear.
Dancing With The Stars Loses Irvin and Dacascos. Oh Well.
Last night, Michael Irvin and Mark Dacascos were eliminated from Dancing With The Stars. We'll just give you a minute to Google Michael Irvin and Mark Dacascos so you know who they are, and then we'll continue. Ready? OK, Michael Irvin and Mark Dacascos, who are... no, wait, it's gone. We'll just Google their names again. Hang on. Oh, one's an American footballer and the other's the Iron Chef guy. Anyway, the footballer and the Iron Chef guy - whose names we have already forgotten - were kicked off Dancing With The Stars last night. That's basically the gist, more or less.
Last night, Michael Irvin and Mark Dacascos were eliminated from Dancing With The Stars. We'll just give you a minute to Google Michael Irvin and Mark Dacascos so you know who they are, and then we'll continue. Ready? OK, Michael Irvin and Mark Dacascos, who are... no, wait, it's gone. We'll just Google their names again. Hang on. Oh, one's an American footballer and the other's the Iron Chef guy. Anyway, the footballer and the Iron Chef guy - whose names we have already forgotten - were kicked off Dancing With The Stars last night. That's basically the gist, more or less.
Dancing With The Stars Ejects Natalie Coughlin, Whoever She Is
Oh Natalie Coughlin, we hardly knew you. No, literally, we're still not completely sure who you are. And now you're gone. Last night Natalie Coughlin became the latest celebrity to be voted off Dancing With The Stars, after a nail-biting dance-off with Aaron Carter. So in many ways she's lucky that she only went home, because we've always been of the understanding that anybody who is worse than Aaron Carter at anything at all should be smacked on the head and thrown to the lions. In other Dancing With The Stars news, Kelly Osbourne hasn't been eliminated yet. We know! Weird!
Oh Natalie Coughlin, we hardly knew you. No, literally, we're still not completely sure who you are. And now you're gone. Last night Natalie Coughlin became the latest celebrity to be voted off Dancing With The Stars, after a nail-biting dance-off with Aaron Carter. So in many ways she's lucky that she only went home, because we've always been of the understanding that anybody who is worse than Aaron Carter at anything at all should be smacked on the head and thrown to the lions. In other Dancing With The Stars news, Kelly Osbourne hasn't been eliminated yet. We know! Weird!
Dancing With The Stars Loses Chuck Liddell, World Somehow Gets Over It
Dancing With The Stars is obviously getting tougher - it can afford to lose Chuck Liddell this early. Chuck Liddell was ace. Don't believe us? Fine, show us a better Dancing With The Stars contestant who rolls around inside a cage in his pants for a living and whose surname sounds a little bit like the name of a German discount supermarket. What's that? You can't? We rest our case. Still, it doesn't matter. Chuck Liddell has been eliminated from Dancing With The Stars anyway. It's bittersweet news - it's sad because Chuck Liddell had so much potential, but at least Dancing With The Stars is one week closer to ending now.
Dancing With The Stars is obviously getting tougher - it can afford to lose Chuck Liddell this early. Chuck Liddell was ace. Don't believe us? Fine, show us a better Dancing With The Stars contestant who rolls around inside a cage in his pants for a living and whose surname sounds a little bit like the name of a German discount supermarket. What's that? You can't? We rest our case. Still, it doesn't matter. Chuck Liddell has been eliminated from Dancing With The Stars anyway. It's bittersweet news - it's sad because Chuck Liddell had so much potential, but at least Dancing With The Stars is one week closer to ending now.
Dancing With The Stars: Everyone’s Out, More Or Less
Celebrities leave Dancing With The Stars for many reasons - because they're injured, because they're crap dancers. And then there's Tom DeLay. Tom DeLay is both. However, on last night's Dancing With The Stars Tom DeLay was offed by injury, probably right before he could be offed by the fact that he dances like a peculiarly asthmatic sack that's been filled with a bunch of lethargic kittens. But Tom DeLay wasn't the only celebrity to leave Dancing With The Stars last night. Debi Mazar was also eliminated, and once we've looked up her name on Wikipedia we'll tell you exactly who she is.
Celebrities leave Dancing With The Stars for many reasons - because they're injured, because they're crap dancers. And then there's Tom DeLay. Tom DeLay is both. However, on last night's Dancing With The Stars Tom DeLay was offed by injury, probably right before he could be offed by the fact that he dances like a peculiarly asthmatic sack that's been filled with a bunch of lethargic kittens. But Tom DeLay wasn't the only celebrity to leave Dancing With The Stars last night. Debi Mazar was also eliminated, and once we've looked up her name on Wikipedia we'll tell you exactly who she is.
Dancing With The Stars: Kelly Osbourne Ballses Everything Up
Getting Kelly Osbourne on Dancing With The Stars this year was nothing short of a masterstroke. We mean that. Someone wins whatever happens. If Kelly Osbourne goes on to win Dancing With The Stars, it'll be an epic display of triumph over adversity. And if Kelly Osbourne does terribly at Dancing With The Stars, clattering around the dancefloor week after week like some kind of epileptic Weeble until the judges do the decent thing and shoot her like a knackered racehorse, then it'll be exactly what everyone expected. Last night Kelly Osbourne did the latter. Which works out best for us, really.
Getting Kelly Osbourne on Dancing With The Stars this year was nothing short of a masterstroke. We mean that. Someone wins whatever happens. If Kelly Osbourne goes on to win Dancing With The Stars, it'll be an epic display of triumph over adversity. And if Kelly Osbourne does terribly at Dancing With The Stars, clattering around the dancefloor week after week like some kind of epileptic Weeble until the judges do the decent thing and shoot her like a knackered racehorse, then it'll be exactly what everyone expected. Last night Kelly Osbourne did the latter. Which works out best for us, really.
Kelly Osbourne On ‘Dancing With The Stars More Famous Than Her’
Dancing With The Stars is easily the best show on television. No, wait, not best - we meant least accurately titled. It's true. None of the words correlate. For one, the Dancing With The Stars contestants aren't actually stars, let alone the definitive star collection that the titular use of the word 'The' suggests. Second, their graceless plodding technically isn't dancing. Third, we're not dancing with anyone - we're just watching. Really it should be called Looking At Some People You Vaguely Recognise Clump Around A Bit. Anyway, Dancing With The Stars is back. Who's in it? Find out after the jump.
Dancing With The Stars is easily the best show on television. No, wait, not best - we meant least accurately titled. It's true. None of the words correlate. For one, the Dancing With The Stars contestants aren't actually stars, let alone the definitive star collection that the titular use of the word 'The' suggests. Second, their graceless plodding technically isn't dancing. Third, we're not dancing with anyone - we're just watching. Really it should be called Looking At Some People You Vaguely Recognise Clump Around A Bit. Anyway, Dancing With The Stars is back. Who's in it? Find out after the jump.
