Kelly Clarkson Happy With Her Weight, Self Magazine Considerably Less So Kelly Clarkson, without wanting to be rude, has always erred on the side of chunky. She'll never be a stick insect. And that's fine. It means she's a real woman. Admittedly all women are real women provided that they've got the proper chromosomes, so it's more accurate to say that Kelly Clarkson is a real woman who looks like she eats quite a lot. But that's not the point. Kelly Clarkson is happy with how she looks, and she told Self magazine so recently. However, Self magazine disagreed - so it airbrushed the living crap out of her on the cover. Inspiring.

WEBTHUMP! 29 July 2009 10 - Angry nuns. You heard - Darkbeige 9 - Kelly Clarkson (sort of) rips off Beyonce, refuses to shut up about it - Amy Grindhouse 8 - If you've been watching David on Big Brother and thinking "But where do I know him from?", here's your answer. You'll thank us for this - Watchwithmothers 7 - Do you have a dog? Are you painfully lonely? Do you like the idea of making people run away from you in terror? Then do WE have the invention for YOU! - Geekologie

Kelly Clarkson Thinks All Children Can Eff Off OK, Kelly Clarkson didn't say all children can eff off - but if she had any of her own she'd utterly resent them. OK, she didn't say that either. But she probably would, because Kelly Clarkson has told a newspaper that she'd be a terrible mother. And, although she didn't specify it in so many words, we'd guess that she'd make a fairly rubbish dad as well. This is because Kelly Clarkson thinks her job is too selfish, and not because she wouldn't be able to get used to all the constant atonal shrieking. She's already desensitised to that, for some reason.

Creased or Folded? hecklerspray Tells You the Way it is Split down the middle. Folded: In For The Kill by La Roux - Skreams remix (addictive like crack. Or maybe popcorn) Pronouncing Noilly Prat correctly and looking smug (have a go, you won’t get it right. You probably won’t know what it is either – or care frankly) Being nice to people with Saturday ...

Kelly Clarkson Hates The Internet

The internet, eh? Sometimes it can be really annoying.

Like that time Lindsay Lohan accepted our MySpace 'friend request.' How was hecklerspray supposed to know that 'friend request' didn't mean 'please stand outside my house shouting inappropriate sexual slurs before being dragged off by the police in a haze of tear-gas and rubber bullets'? And don't even get us started on that time the internet promised us a load of money from Nigeria.

Pain is only relevant, however, if shared by a celebrity. Any fool knows that. Which is why hecklerspray is particularly enamoured with Kelly Clarkson - she hates the internet too, and she's going to tell you all about it. Well, actually, we are. In a vaguely sarcastic manner. Before linking to the story itself. Come on, you know the score by now.