ITV2 is a very odd channel. They seem intent on keeping Kerry Katona’s career alive for reasons that quite frankly baffle anyone with half a brain cell, even budget supermarket Iceland had enough sense to get rid of her and they had an advert in which Jason Donovan did the can-can in fish nets.
But even by their usual insane standards ITV2 has thrown us a curve ball, by using an obscure 90s alternative band famed for excess and eccentricity to advertise their middle of the road teen drama Gossip Girl.
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Some Rolling Stones facts for you: 1) The Rolling Stones have a combined age of just over three million.
2) Mick Jagger was friends with Moses. 3) Approximately 85% of The Rolling Stones is gristle, making it unlikely that they’ll ever be turned into sausages. But despite being so old that they now legitimately look like a bunch of ghost transvestites, The Rolling Stones are still refusing to split up.
The band have angrily denied Australian reports that drummer Charlie Watts will no longer tour as part of The Rolling Stones. They say that Charlie Watts’s drumming is as integral to the band’s sound as Mick’s howl, Keith’s licks and the general screeching grind of osteoporosis that can be heard whenever the three of them get together and move in unison. Or something.
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It’s a predicament we’ve all faced, really.
You bring a newly-cremated loved one home and open up the urn, only to have some of the ashes spew onto the table. Dang it all. Now you have to go to the trouble of carefully sweeping the ashy vestiges of your great granny back in there using your pinky. Unless you’re Keith Richards. If you’re Keith Richards you daub up those ashes on your pinky and stick it up your nose hole and snort like you’ve never snorted before.
For reals this time, guys. This time he says he really did it for reals.
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David Blaine is at a crossroads – after all, how do you top standing on a pole and standing near some ice and sitting around in a box for a while?
Which is why, for his next big trick, David Blaine has decided to stay awake for 13 days.
Trouble is, though, Keith Richards doesn't want David Blaine to do that. Keith Richards, speaking from experience, says that there are unknown dangers involved with staying awake for days, like falling face-first into a JVC speaker and smashing up your nose after nine days. Similarly, Keith Richards has warned David Blaine against climbing up tiny coconut trees that most children would be able to scale safely without falling and snorting the ashes of dead relatives.
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Sometimes you've just got to stop and take stock.
If a Formula One driver tutted and shook his head at you as you sped through a housing estate, for example, you'd probably think it a wise move to step off the accelerator. On a similar note, if Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards – a man who has ingested more drugs than six generations of lab monkeys – told you that you were dabbling in the ol' excess a bit too much, you'd give serious thought to putting the crackpipe down.
It remains to be seen whether Amy Winehouse will curb her naughty druggy activities, however. Keith Richards, you see, has revealed that – while Amy is the only modern pop star he actually admires – she'll more than likely be pushing up the daisies before too long unless she gives those narcotics a rest.
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