If Michael Jackson ever lost Neverland, he'd be a broken shell of a man – or at least more broken and shelly than he is now, if that's even possible.

Luckily, though, we don't have to concern ourselves with that any more – Michael Jackson isn't going to lose Neverland any more.

Although it had been up for public auction next month, Michael Jackson has worked out a private agreement with an investment group to make sure that Neverland stays his. Bad luck everyone else – you'll just have to find another spooky dilapidated old ranch complete with its own nightmarish arrested-adolescent fairground and hard-to-remove, albeit legally-nonexistent, child abuse connotations to spend your money on.