Articles tagged with: katie price
Peter Andre Doesn’t Want Transvestites Near His Kids, So Back Off
It’s perfectly clear that Peter Andre likes humans with genitals that are the opposite of his. Take his famous pop song Mysterious Girl. We’ve been able to deceiver that this song is about women. In the song he wants to “get close” to this Mysterious Girl, but why? Did she smell nice? Or had she just baked a pie? Either way, Peter Andre knows the difference between men and women, and that's something he's keen to pass onto his children. So he’s got something else to squeeze into a few episodes of his rubbish ITV2 show. You see, Peter isn’t overly keen that Katie Price’s new boyfriend Alex Reid likes to dress up in pretty frocks and makeup.
It’s perfectly clear that Peter Andre likes humans with genitals that are the opposite of his. Take his famous pop song Mysterious Girl. We’ve been able to deceiver that this song is about women. In the song he wants to “get close” to this Mysterious Girl, but why? Did she smell nice? Or had she just baked a pie? Either way, Peter Andre knows the difference between men and women, and that's something he's keen to pass onto his children. So he’s got something else to squeeze into a few episodes of his rubbish ITV2 show. You see, Peter isn’t overly keen that Katie Price’s new boyfriend Alex Reid likes to dress up in pretty frocks and makeup.
Tabloid Watch: Jordan & Peter Andre
The overall impression I got from reading Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas was that he was taking drugs and reporting back so that you didn't have to. Well this week's been the same for me, but instead of the mind-expanding world that concerned Thompson, I am committed to the mind-reducing ignorance of the tabloids. Maybe, when I'm standing next to Littlejohn on the white cliffs of Dover shouting expletives in the direction of Europe you'll remember the sacrifice I made so that you could be enlightened and tolerant. This week: Jordan and Peter Andre and their continuing slow-motion car-crash of a divorce...
The overall impression I got from reading Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas was that he was taking drugs and reporting back so that you didn't have to. Well this week's been the same for me, but instead of the mind-expanding world that concerned Thompson, I am committed to the mind-reducing ignorance of the tabloids. Maybe, when I'm standing next to Littlejohn on the white cliffs of Dover shouting expletives in the direction of Europe you'll remember the sacrifice I made so that you could be enlightened and tolerant. This week: Jordan and Peter Andre and their continuing slow-motion car-crash of a divorce...
Peter Andre Blubs All Over The Gogglebox
Never let it be said we are anything but balanced, fair and righteous here at hecklerspray - we will always cover things from every angle available to us. Which is why we're now going to talk about the latest TV appearance by Peter Andre, where he gets all boo-hooey and says he's all about his kids and stuff, and then completely fails to see the connection between apologising for his life in the spotlight then announcing he has a new reality show currently filming. What a tool. See? We're not just mean to Katie Price. Though she is a giganto-titted monstrosity of Lovecraftian proportions.
Never let it be said we are anything but balanced, fair and righteous here at hecklerspray - we will always cover things from every angle available to us. Which is why we're now going to talk about the latest TV appearance by Peter Andre, where he gets all boo-hooey and says he's all about his kids and stuff, and then completely fails to see the connection between apologising for his life in the spotlight then announcing he has a new reality show currently filming. What a tool. See? We're not just mean to Katie Price. Though she is a giganto-titted monstrosity of Lovecraftian proportions.
TV Review: Katie Price Meets Piers Morgan
To the despair of Google Image users everywhere, there are several Jordans in the world: The basketball player, the Asian country and the brand of Nike Airs to name just three. However, potential masturbators will be most familiar with the variable-titted cock-holster better known as Katie Price. As promised on Twitter, Katie has been keeping a dignified silence about her divorce with Aussie warbler Peter Andre, breaking it only briefly to swear about him. Which is about as dignified as you can get without talking to Piers Morgan on TV and revealing all - thankfully not literally: one slimy twat is more than enough.
To the despair of Google Image users everywhere, there are several Jordans in the world: The basketball player, the Asian country and the brand of Nike Airs to name just three. However, potential masturbators will be most familiar with the variable-titted cock-holster better known as Katie Price. As promised on Twitter, Katie has been keeping a dignified silence about her divorce with Aussie warbler Peter Andre, breaking it only briefly to swear about him. Which is about as dignified as you can get without talking to Piers Morgan on TV and revealing all - thankfully not literally: one slimy twat is more than enough.
Katie Price And Piers Morgan: A Perfect Reason To Blow Up Your TV!
There are some moves people will make to maintain credibility, and there are some moves which end up being quite misinformed. Can you guess which side Katie Price (or "Jordan" if you prefer her hooker name) being interviewed by Piers Morgan (or "Twat" if you prefer his real name) would fall into? But what if we throw in the fact that poor Katie broke down in tears during the interview, making out as if she were the victim to Peter Andre's evil ways? Then it would be secret option three: you're only hurting yourself and my god we wish Piers Morgan would just die.
There are some moves people will make to maintain credibility, and there are some moves which end up being quite misinformed. Can you guess which side Katie Price (or "Jordan" if you prefer her hooker name) being interviewed by Piers Morgan (or "Twat" if you prefer his real name) would fall into? But what if we throw in the fact that poor Katie broke down in tears during the interview, making out as if she were the victim to Peter Andre's evil ways? Then it would be secret option three: you're only hurting yourself and my god we wish Piers Morgan would just die.
Jordan & Peter Andre: Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah
It’s time to leave the country. Dynamite your house, pack your toothbrush and don’t forget to shoot your girlfriend on the way out. You’ll thank us for it later. Hecklerspray warned glamour model Jordan about the dangers of thinking, but she didn’t quite get it. Peter Andre didn’t get it either (for over four months) and went into Mediterranean exile after spotting his wife with a slew of horsey men.
It’s time to leave the country. Dynamite your house, pack your toothbrush and don’t forget to shoot your girlfriend on the way out. You’ll thank us for it later. Hecklerspray warned glamour model Jordan about the dangers of thinking, but she didn’t quite get it. Peter Andre didn’t get it either (for over four months) and went into Mediterranean exile after spotting his wife with a slew of horsey men.
Jordan Gets Rid Of Her Biggest Tit
Breasts-on-legs celebrity Jordan has split from her husband, tiny Australian Peter Andre. Form an orderly queue, gentlemen. Probably a queue where you're all naked and desperately trying to stop yourself doing a milky manwee before it's your turn. Fame. It's a funny thing. Some people achieve it by being blessed with good looks and acting skills. Some get there by using their beautiful voice and hedge-like eyebrows to charm the hearts of millions. And some stuff a load of jelly-filled bags into their boobies, then wander round thrusting the hilarious results down camera lenses.
Breasts-on-legs celebrity Jordan has split from her husband, tiny Australian Peter Andre. Form an orderly queue, gentlemen. Probably a queue where you're all naked and desperately trying to stop yourself doing a milky manwee before it's your turn. Fame. It's a funny thing. Some people achieve it by being blessed with good looks and acting skills. Some get there by using their beautiful voice and hedge-like eyebrows to charm the hearts of millions. And some stuff a load of jelly-filled bags into their boobies, then wander round thrusting the hilarious results down camera lenses.
Wait A Minute, Jordan THINKS?
Glamour model Katie Price (aka Jordan) announced on Tuesday that she doesn't 'think' her husband has been cheating on her. The former page 3 girl blamed her suspicions on PMT, claiming husband Peter Andre's unusual enthusiasm for the gym and adventurous sex was cause for concern. Well guess what Katie... nobody ever paid you to think. Here's further evidence that women create elaborate conspiracy out of absolutely nothing. It's a bit like cooking.
Glamour model Katie Price (aka Jordan) announced on Tuesday that she doesn't 'think' her husband has been cheating on her. The former page 3 girl blamed her suspicions on PMT, claiming husband Peter Andre's unusual enthusiasm for the gym and adventurous sex was cause for concern. Well guess what Katie... nobody ever paid you to think. Here's further evidence that women create elaborate conspiracy out of absolutely nothing. It's a bit like cooking.
