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Katie Holmes

Is Katie Holmes Pregnant With Another Little Thetan?

by Stuart Heritage

As we all know, the best way to get yourself out of a pickle when videos of you babbling religiously appear on the internet is to knock your wife up.

That appears to be the case anyway – Katie Holmes has fuelled speculation that she’s pregnant by buying a T-shirt with ‘Big Sister’ written on it for her daughter Suri. So does this mean that Katie Holmes is pregnant?

Hardly – unless Tom Cruise has miraculously found a nice big glob of Hubbard-spunk in the bottom of his jizz-jar that didn’t get used up when he was getting Katie Holmes pregnant with Suri.

Or something.

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Tom Cruise Can’t Keep Pizzas Warm With Magic

by Stuart Heritage

To watch the skin-crawling Tom Cruise: Scientologist video you’d think that there was literally nothing that Tom Cruise couldn’t do, apart from make sense and laugh normally.

However, Katie Holmes has bravely pushed her head above the parapet and spoken out about something that Tom Cruise isn’t able to do.

Tom Cruise, you see, can’t keep pizzas warm with magic.

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Celebrity Divorce Betting Odds: Cruise, Beckham & Aguilera

by Stuart Heritage

The start of a new year is a time to wipe the slate clean, to reflect on one’s past negativity and move on determined to right one’s wrongs imbued with a fresh sense of goodwill and radiant positivity.

And that’s why the very first hecklerspray post of 2008 is all about celebrity divorces. Not only that, but it’s a betting odds post, meaning that we’re effectively giving you the chance to make a crazy amount of money by exploiting the misery of others. Over the next couple of days we’re giving you the chance to bet on which celebrity couple will be the first to file for divorce in 2008. Bah, radiant positivity is overrated, anyway.

So here are the celebrity divorce betting odds for Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas, Christina Aguilera and Jordan Bratman, Posh and Becks and Ashley and Cheryl Cole, with help from Paddy Power…

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Katie Holmes Called ‘Mom’ By Tom Cruise’s Adorable Experiments

by Stuart Heritage

Katie Holmes has slotted in so well to married life with Tom Cruise that Tom’s children from his time with Nicole Kidman call her ‘Mom’ in their allotted thrice-monthly visits to her cage.

Katie Holmes revealed to Parade magazine that Tom’s adopted children Isabella, 14, and Connor, 12, refer to her as ‘Mom’, even though ‘very slightly older sister’ would have probably been more apt. However, this sudden revelation is bound to upset Nicole Kidman profoundly, especially since she has said that the children now call her ‘Nicole’ against her wishes. Some have commented that this is all a deliberate ploy by Tom Cruise to turn the kids against Kidman, but we’re not so sure – every kid knows the easiest way to get a bigger Christmas present from one divorced parent is pretend that you like the other divorced parent’s new partner more than them.

Come on, that’s rule number one, people.

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