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Kate Hudson

Muse To Be Banned In Australia (And Not Because They’re Rubbish)

by Matthew Laidlow

Comparing Muse to Radiohead like we did last time wasn’t received well. We’d would have had a more friendly response from a vegan if we tied them to a chair and did a sexy lap dance for them as we stripped out of an outfit made entirely out of bacon and mince. Clearly, people weren’t [...]

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Muse’s Next Album Is Destined To Be Crap

by Matthew Laidlow

Muse confuse us in the same way that as when we’re left puzzled by a surprise solid chocolate Twix instead of biscuit and caramel one. It’s not like they’ve released nothing but bad music, just the majority of it is rubbish. At best, we rate them as some sort of Radiohead tribute band who one [...]

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The Killer Inside Me – DVD Review

by James Morton

The Killer Inside Me, the latest genre excursion from filmmaker Michael Winterbottom, opens with a huge red herring. A jaunty, stylish credits sequence ushers the film in to the tune of Little Willie John’s version of ‘Fever’. ‘Fever”s a bit of an aural signpost. Putting it over the opening credits of a film is like [...]

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Kate Hudson & A-Rod Split Up! Or Something!

by Stuart Heritage

People of Earth, to the bunkers! Kate Hudson and Alex Rodriguez have reportedly split up, and you know what that means.

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Parade Magazine Is Making Subtle Promiscuity Difficult

by Amy Grindhouse

Parade has always felt as though it were one of the more benign of the women’s magazines. It appears to avoid some of the sleazier bylines of the younger magazines like Cosmopolitan and Glamour. Gone are sub-headings about nifty ways to snare a mate without being slapped with a restraining order. Gone are articles about [...]

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Watch The NINE Trailer! Be Italian!

by Alex de Moller

Director Guido Contini lives a life defined by glamour, excess and the attention of a thousand beautiful women… In this Hollywood remake of the Broadway musical Nine, you’ll wonder how the Italian, played by Daniel Day Lewis, doesn’t wake up castrated… hell hath no fury, after all. Set in Venice circa 1960, the award winning [...]

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Hollywood FACT: Prettiness x10 = Accepted Level Of Crazy

by hecklerspray staff

Imagine going on a date with someone who seems perfectly normal. Throughout the course of the evening, you notice that they have a little vial around their neck.

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Kate Hudson Gets All “Boo Hoo, It’s So Difficult Being Beautiful”

by Stuart Heritage

Kate Hudson is easily one of the most beautiful people in the world, because she’s literally the only skinny woman with blond hair on the planet.

But the pressure of having hair the same colour as Worzel Gummidge and not looking like she eats much is sometimes too much to bear, which is why Kate Hudson has decided to go and whine to Fox about how being beautiful is “weird.”

Fair play to Kate Hudson for being brave enough to admit that being nice to look at has such devastating drawbacks. In fact, more people should be told how weird it is to be beautiful, which is why Kate Hudson is planning a tour of poverty-stricken African nations and all the burns units in America to make sure that everyone knows just how unsettling it can be to wake up in the morning with flawless skin and incredible hair.

Kate Hudson is easily one of the most beautiful people in the world, because she's literally the only skinny woman with blond hair on the planet. But the pressure of having hair the same colour as Worzel Gummidge and not looking like she eats much is sometimes too much to bear, which is why Kate Hudson has decided to go and whine to Fox about how being beautiful is "weird." Fair play to Kate Hudson for being brave enough to admit that being nice to look at has such devastating drawbacks. In fact, more people should be told how weird it is to be beautiful, which is why Kate Hudson is planning a tour of poverty-stricken African nations and all the burns units in America to make sure that everyone knows just how unsettling it can be to wake up in the morning with flawless skin and incredible hair.
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Tremendous Lawsuit Levied Against Kate Hudson’s Shampoo

by Shawn Lindseth

Does anybody else remember when Kate Hudson’s hair was nominated for an Oscar back in 2001.

There’s reason for that you know. It’s been enrolled in acting classes since the age of four. It’s done stage work since the age of 12, and sometime in the sixties it got its big break playing the part of Charlton Heston’s beard in that Moses movie. We believe that the hair is actually what the Israelites volunteered to follow – it emoted smoke by day and fire by night.

We know this because we’ve seen the original script. It’s quite tattered.

Normally Kate Hudson’s hair earns her nothing but accolades and free head-strokings everywhere she goes. Now though – it’s kind of gotten her into a pretty big lawsuit.

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Lance Armstrong No Longer Humping Kate Hudson

by Stuart Heritage

Ladies! Are you young, blonde, famous and determined to live out the minutiae of your personal life in the harrowing glare of the media?

You ARE? Well what are you waiting around here for? You’re exactly Lance Armstrong’s cup of tea. And he’s single too, now, so form an orderly queue and before long you – yes you! – could be feeling Lance’s solitary testicle smacking repeatedly against your inner thigh during one of several sordid bunk-ups!

Lance Armstrong is single, by the way, because he’s split up with Kate Hudson. They were going out. They were. What do you mean you didn’t know? Don’t you understand how important any of this is? Cuh.

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