Every week, we have the unfortunate task of picking our way through your crusted correspondence to find the most depraved, hideous scrawlings to put on the site for everyone to laugh at. This week, it was a little bit easier as our drooling mass of a readership left a slug trail right to some of the most sexually-charged content that has ever deposited itself in our post bag thanks to a certain Ms. Scarlett Johansson.
Yes, everyone’s favourite bombshell had her phone hacked as hecklerspray brought the curious masses a skin-exclusive and everyone wanted to get in touch to reveal their masturbatory habits. There’s also veiled threats from Kasabian’s representatives, a singing Michael Jackson and a screaming INXS nutter, all with Editor Mof just over the jump.
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When the news reached people that New York had lost a piece of its iconic skyline due to a terrorist attack, it didn’t seem real. As rolling news stations replayed the footage of the deadly impact of the planes hitting the World Trade Centre and subsequent collapse of the buildings, it was more like a trailer from a movie or next generation computer game.
While many people ignore daily tragedies, the whole world united in the grief and panic for individuals they didn’t know. Ten years on from the event, we don’t know if subsequent action by world governments has reaped any sort of suitable revenge.
This weekend marks the tenth anniversary of the attacks; New Yorkers will no doubt come together in peaceful mourning for those lost unexpectedly lost. However, they’ll be an annoying din to soundtrack the day. Kasabian are playing to mark the anniversary.
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Liam Gallagher, a man who facially resembles a cross between a Dickensian henchman and a brain damaged howler monkey, is well known for holding certain controversial views on the world around him. He’s the kind of gent that, if he were punch a GPS satellite out of the sky for ‘looking at him funny’, most people wouldn’t be 100% surprised.
Now, the former front brother of Oasis has decided to launch into a fashion crusade in an effort to clean up the image of some of music’s biggest stars. The bowl-cut-toting funster’s love of the finer fashions have often seen comparisons drawn between him and some of the most flamboyant characters in modern celebrity and fashion.
Who can forget that parka that he wore at Glastonbury 1996, T in the Park 1998, V Festival 2005, Knebworth well, actually… pretty much every live show that Oasis have done**. Still, it had a nice furry hood and was very practical in the winter, according to his mummykins.
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Rock music is a sickly old dog at the minute. Think about it – pop, hip-hop and electronic music are spitting out exciting new bands every week, yet rock is really ailing, relying on older bands to show the way. Is it a good thing that Radiohead are one of the only innovators in rock?
Not in the slightest. And besides, Radiohead aren’t that great either (just buy the records they listen to instead if you want your kicks).
And so, this year’s NME Awards is the beacon, burning on rock’s coffin with a bunch of musical codgers (in rock and indie, time works in fly-years so by the time you’re in your mid-thirties, you’re ooooold). Read More >>>
Folded for the best, Creased for the worst. It’s always been that way.
Folded:
Creased:
Separating the sweet, juicy flesh from the stone and skin of this week’s major label releases.
You’ll have noticed there’s a worldwide financial crisis going on. Well don’t worry, because we’ve generously picked out three of this week’s new music releases to uplift your spirits. Or else confirm your belief that the world is going to hell, and fast. Whichever.
All releases are represented by a thought which might be thinked by the thinkers who buy them.
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If you ask us, there's nothing quite as refreshing as basking in the Canadian sun whilst sipping red from the major artery of a freshly killed baby seal. It's so good fresh.
For the record though, we don't think it's picture-perfect when the thing starts thrashing about while our teeth are trying to find a soft spot. Certainly not! We prefer our little fuzzy drink boxes to be completely dead. Our lawyers prefer that too – it reduces the chance of a bad photo-op.
Kasabian though, they seem to think the tiny things are slightly more than a refreshing beverage. In fact – they don't think we should drink them at all.
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